Stuff I Should Have Been Blogging About, But Haven't, Part 2

Comic-Con (Again, This Time With Video)

There's a couple things I forgot to mention the last time with regards to Comic-Con, both of them relating to video.

The first is that I was interviewed by the video game publisher EA and was used in one of their online community videos. You can see that video here. There's a number of people speaking in the video; skip to 0:42 to see seven seconds of me discussing the magnitude of Comic-Con, as well as the economic impact of said magnitude on the availability of tickets.

Secondly, I wanted to share this little video that I made with the former MST3K/current Rifftrax members Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett, and Mike Nelson. In case you don't get the reference, it's too the movie 300, which was one of their most popular riffs. Forgive the fumbling in the beginning; for some reason, I couldn't edit that out without losing the last 4 seconds of sound.



François

So, how has François been doing since his misfortune?

Pretty good, as it turns out. He has a new home outside my apartment. His center limb has begun growing strongly, he has developed a lovely shade of red...

And he's made some new friends...


On a weird side note, one of my professors' first name is François. A little awkward, but I was sure to tell him - on the first day, no less - that he had the same name as my houseplant.

Speaking of professors...

School, So Far

Not bad. A little busy (of course), but not bad. Between class, Security Coordinator work, and my work in the Undergraduate Marketing Association, I'm definitely not for lack of things to do. And the classes themselves?

UGBA 103 (Finance): While I'm still not into this side of business (and thank God, with the financial market like it is), I must say this is marginally more enjoyable than accounting. So that's good.
UGBA 105 (Organizational Behavior): This seems like it can be a good class, but it doesn't feel like I'm actually taking it, mainly because it's had the least number of sessions so far. However, I'm still getting a good idea of exactly why working with the University sucks so much.
UGBA 161 (Market Research): This is really the one I'm here for. Interesting, relevant, and the professor (François) is a very nice man. The gem of the semester.
History 127 (History of California): The professor is hilarious in a bitter-professor sort of way, and this is one of those classes I would love to just sit in on. I'm sure it would make a great podcast, but the professor won't go near the Internet. The real problem with the class, though, is that I've been trained in Business to read books and papers a certain way, a way which is the polar opposite of how you should read them for a history class.

But, all things considered, I'm doing fine.

My Eating Situation

Okay, well, I don't have a meal plan in my current position. Right now, I'm fighting to be able to purchase an employee plan. In the meanwhile, I've been reduced to making my own food.

But y'know, sometimes it turns out all right...



I'll be back with more...

My Final Paper - "Behold, the Magnificent Phonograph"

So, we have a final paper in my summer class on technology and interactivity. I wasn't terribly worried. It's only a "final" paper in that it occurs after all others. In truth, it's only worth about 4% of our grades, and I get 2% just for turning it in. Still, I somehow managed to make mine twice the required length. There's two reasons for this. First is simply because the required length is only 1000 words (remember, this is a discussion-based class). Second, I actually had a lot of fun writing it. You see, we had a choice of three different questions to respond to, and the one I chose was, basically, to write a "scientific/logical explanation for the layman that outlines the particular interactivity with a technology we have not discussed. You can be creative, humorous, and a little absurd but must also be intelligent, articulate, and well-informed." We had to also show that we did the readings in the class, but instead of needing to cite them, we could be allusive or imitative.

Anyway, I chose to write something like this for the phonograph, mainly because I felt we didn't spend nearly enough time talking about audio technology, focusing heavily on visual technology (also, I really like this recording). I decided to write as though I were from ye olden days, and I feel I'm more than a bit imitative of Oliver Wendell Holmes, who wrote our first reading.

Anyway, I kind of let loose when creating this, but I actually enjoy the results. I hope you will, as well. And I hope you'll come to the realization, as I did when halfway through, that this must have actually seemed like a frickin' big deal at the time.

(P.S. While I kind of muddle with timelines in this piece, this is an excuse to use my "1890s" tag for a second time. Score!)

***

Like a fine perfume, spoken words, carried by the talented voice of Len Spencer, seeped out the glass panes of the appliance shop to my ears as I was taking a stroll downtown. People casually walking by turned, to perhaps glimpse the man that the sound must have come from. One person even looked at me, as though I were some sort of ventriloquist.

But no; the voice may have been projected, but it was not by my lungs. Instead, it was by a small box, no taller than my chest. This box was the phonograph, a most wondrous invention. Created by Thomas Edison, it may prove even more influential than his electric lantern. With this mechanical device, you can do what one would think is impossible: you can capture sound. What’s more, you can then repeat this captured sound whenever you please. With such an apparatus, we have the opportunity to interact with family, with ourselves, and with the world in an entirely new – and beneficial – way. If you don’t believe me now, or if you’ve never heard of one of these phonographs before, then give me a few moments of your time to explain myself.

I think it prudent to discuss the technical aspects of one of these contraptions. After all, without a proper understanding of the mechanics of today’s technology, it is no better than some possessed trinket. You can just imagine good old Aunt Mabel claiming it to be a work of the devil, can you not? But no, it is not some infernal handicraft, but rather a precisely-tuned instrument. Yes, I said “instrument”. Because, you see, the phonograph works in exactly the same way as any flute or drum.

Let us consider the humble mandolin. When a musician plucks at one of the strings, that piece of catgut would move back and forth. These vibrations disturb the air, much like a well-thrown stone will cause ripples in a pond. However, once these disturbances reach your ear, they then vibrate the inner recesses of your ear, acting as a tiny drum. This, then, causes you to hear the sound in your head. The same holds true with a piano (the vibrations being on the strings inside), the drum (here coming from the skin you beat) and the flute (the very body of the instrument being the tool of the vibrations). And so it is true with the phonograph.

Of course, the phonograph does not use strings. Instead, it uses wax cylinders no larger than a jar of peanut butter. This cylinder is placed on what can best be likened to a spit over a cooking fire. In this way, a crank allows the user to turn the cylinder like a suckling pig. A needle then rests on the cylinder, and attached to this needle is a large cone, similar to a horn or trumpet.

What makes this apparatus so extraordinary is that it can perform dual functions; recording sound and playing it back. When one fastens a small attachment onto the needle, it allows you to speak into the machine. You can input whatever you want, from a friendly greeting to a song to a dramatic reading of Melville. When the large cone catches the vibrations of your voice (themselves created by the movement of the muscles in your throat) it will itself vibrate slightly, enough to move the recording needle up and down. Like a master sculptor of miniscule stature, the needle digs into the wax cylinder, forming small grooves. Within these grooves is magic. Not real magic, mind you; otherwise Aunt Mabel would get her torch ready. No, it is a modern magic, one which captures the sound, exactly how it is, and stores it, as though frozen in time, ready to be played back. And to do this, you simply remove the recording attachment and turn the crank as normal. Now, it simply works in the opposite way; the grooves bump the needle up and down, causing the cone to vibrate in a way which will replicate whatever sound was frozen on the cylinder.

What are amazing about these cylinders are their authenticity and their longevity. A parrot, for example, can “record” a speech, but when you ask it to speak the speech back to you, it will do so in its own voice. The speech may be accurate in its contents, but it is not authentic in voice. A phonograph cylinder, on the other hand, will remember and present you with the speech exactly how was first said. Were you in another room, you’d think speechmaker himself was the one doing the talking. Additionally, while one’s memory of a speech can fade with time, a cylinder will reproduce it with as much accuracy one year from now as it does today. Think of it as an entertainer who will perform unlimited shows after only one payment.

But the use of the phonograph goes far beyond that.

People speak of photography as though it were the second coming of the Lord. I can’t go anywhere without seeing a picture print or stereoscopic image. People flock to these devices, saying that they will revolutionize the way we perceive the world. They will make travel unnecessary, and they will allow family on different sides of the country to know each other as though they were next-door neighbors. All through the “power” of images.

Well, of course people are attracted to this concept. Of all the senses, sight is our primary one. Before all other information is gleaned from a new object or situation, we evaluate it based on what we see. Unfortunately, this also makes sight our most superficial sense. Even though we are told never to judge a book by its cover, that is exactly what we are forced to do with photography: judge something solely by its appearance, rather than its merit.

I hear tell of people putting together moving pictures. They take a number of photographs, all taken in close sequence, and display them as quickly as possible. The effect is to create movement. Currently, the closest we can get to something like this is the zoetrope, but the thought it that we will eventually reach a point where a single pane will be able to display the moving pictures, without any spinning. Personally, I’m not waiting with very much excitement. I’ve seen chronophotographs; I know how systematic human beings work. But what good is it to know that humans move? Animals move. Machines move. And that’s what these moving pictures show us: that we are mechanical as a steam engine.

Sound, on the other hand, is what separates us from the machines, and places us closer to the pantheon of the angels. For it is in sound that the soul comes through, be it through the heavenly voices of a church choir or through an inspirational speech by the president. We may not use sound as our primary sense, but it allows us to pierce deeper into the very core of one’s being. Hence, once the phonograph is ubiquitous, we shall engage in a new culture, one in which we judge others not on the trifling appearances of their clothes and face, but on the very sound of their soul.

But these philosophical ramblings mean nothing if the phonograph ends up serving no palpable purposes. Which indeed, it does. In fact, I dare say that the phonograph shall be the creation which, more than any other man-made machine, shall serve to change the way people around the world interact with each other.

Consider the opera. While an opera can be an uplifting experience, the practice of attending one can be less than pleasant. The modestly-paid enthusiast must attend a show by himself - or at best with his wife - as he cannot afford to purchase tickets for his family and friends. When he reaches the theatre, he must find an uncomfortable chair in a sea of strangers. Later, when his hunger arises, he must get up and leave the performance to purchase refreshment. What a needless hassle! With the phonograph, he can purchase an opera cylinder for half the price of an individual ticket. He can then invite his dear ones into his living room, where he can sit in his favorite recliner. The opera can begin and end whenever he desires. If he takes a break, so does the performance. He may repeat a particular concerto if he desires. He has access to limitless encores. His house, not the big house, becomes the local center of attraction. What a marvelous situation, when a man need not leave his house and still has the choice between “Carmen” and “Madame Butterfly”.

This also presents new opportunities for musical artists. Because one phonograph may record off of another, a musician need only complete his piece once, and it can be replicated as many times as his heart desires. No longer need he perform on every street corner and evening café. He may simply sell cylinders for 50 cents apiece to the general store. In this way, we may need to add a course in our music lessons about proper salesmanship!

And yet, it does not end there. This technology will eventually make written letters obsolete. After all, why should one wish to waste their time writing – or reading – page after page of correspondence, when they may simply place a cylinder in their phonograph and communicate the way it was meant to be done: with voice. Say I wish to send a romantic note to my sweetheart traveling across Europe. I could simply write down a poem, put in the post, and hope she understands its meaning. Or – and I sincerely prefer this – I could actually recite the poem to her, to inflect the important points, to punctuate what needs be punctuated. And in hearing my tender tone, she will feel as though my arms are enfolding her. A slip of paper cannot do that. Should she reciprocate, sending me back a cylinder with her delicate voice, I could close my eyes and imagine her very presence. Indeed, communicating with the phonograph is just like having a conversation with your eyes closed. It is the closest two people on opposite sides of the world will ever come to be.

In fact, once one thinks about it, the phonograph becomes the perfect tool for people to interact with each other. But is it only a means to this end? Certainly not! Should you choose it to be, the phonograph can be a character in and of itself. As Len Spencer’s advertising recording states, “When your wife is worried after the cares of the day, and the children are boisterous, I can rest the one and quiet the other. I never get tired and you will never tire of me, for I will always have something new to offer.” If only every houseguest could offer as much! You’ll notice how it speaks, though, referring to itself in the first person, as though it were a living, breathing person. I have yet to see a camera do that! And it couldn’t, because nobody would believe it. But the phonograph, with its ability to use sound, the foundation of the soul, actually has the ability to pass as a contributing member of the household – one which never needs to be fed.

But was Aunt Mabel correct this whole time? Is the phonograph actually insidious? Shall we lose ourselves in this machine? Not at all; in fact, we shall discover ourselves! We shall go past the superficial details of photography and understand what it is to know the world with our eyes closed.

I think that within a few years, when the phonograph becomes as omnipresent as a bedspread, you will not have to read this piece again. By that time, I will have recorded it on a cylinder and distributed it to all of my readers (who, ironically, wouldn’t be reading anymore). In doing so, all the tones, the inflections, and the passion that I’ve lost in transcribing my thoughts to paper will be regained. Your experience would improve tenfold. This discourse could continue for an infinite number of pages, but I believe you should have a decent understanding of the workings - and the merits - of the phonograph. If not, then I urge you to go to your local appliance store and experience the phonograph for yourself; I think you will be hard-pressed to hold onto that stoicism. Steam power may make travel across the world easy, but it is the phonograph which will actually bring us all together.

The Last Week: Good and Bad

Good: School finished! I'm done with all my finals and all my classes! It's summer!

Bad: School started! I have summer school (at least for the first six weeks of the summer), thrice a week at 9am.

Good: I'm all moved in to my new room!

(Address for care packages, checks, money orders, etc:
2650 Haste St.
EH 707
Berkeley, CA 94720)

Bad: My setup does not like to be moved. It especially doesn't like to be moved twice. So imagine my thoughts when, after spending 15 hours moving my stuff from one building to another, putting everything in its proper place, hooking up my computer, and putting my celebratory bottle of sparkling cider in my fridge, I then go to my meeting (oh, did I mention I finished at 8:20am?), where I'm told, "Yeah, you and the other CC (Community Coordinator) are in the wrong rooms. You'll have to switch. By tonight." Imagine a wave destroying your newly-finished sandcastle, and the wind then blowing the sand into your eyes. It was kinda like that.

Good: Luckily, I moved to this new building in less than half the time (only 7 hours!).

Bad: Not only had I not slept in 46 hours, but my fingers were cut, crushed, and bleeding (the rest of my body fared slightly better.

Good: Going back to classes, I got an A+ in my Consumer Behavior class (like I said, telling), and, somehow, a B+ in my Accounting class.

Bad: I also got a B+ in my personal finance class. Which sucks, as I was taking the class Pass/No Pass, and so I should have gotten a P. I know for a fact that I signed up for the class as P/NP, because this sort of thing has happened to me before! And yet, here I am, with a Goddamn letter grade in a class I stopped doing any real work on by the halfway point. Am I going to request that they change it? No, because they need some kind of proof, then they need a letter from the professor, then they need about ten pages of paperwork, and then they'll never, ever get back to you, pigeonholing your request in some Godforsaken desk. ...Like I said, I've been through this before, and it sucks.

Good: I've gotten through what is probably the busiest part of my summer job: the training and setup to make sure things go smoothly. And they have (thus far).

Bad: I'm not in the clear yet (though things should die down a bit from here on out).

Good: My staff is definitely enthusiastic.

Bad: My staff is definitely inexperienced (and yes, there is a strong correlation between those two.) They'll pick it up, though.

Good: A couple of my old residents came back.

Bad: They're not living anywhere near my room. (Hopefully, we'll still be able to get together for some poker.)

Good: There are more Finnish people!!! I always made fun of my mom for telling me that almost everyone she worked with was one of the best people in the world. But now I know she was just flat out mistaken: the best people in the world are in FINLAND!

Bad: Nothing bad can possibly be said about Finnish people! And don't let me catch you badmouthing Finland!

Good: We had a large, successful ice cream social this last Tuesday which will set the precedent for our upcoming Tuesday Night Socials.

Bad: The social was so successful (and loud, apparently) that the cops were called to break it up.

Good: My summer class so far seems interesting.

Bad: We had a reading on our first day, which had a reading response due that day by 9pm. Since I had work, I needed to turn mine in by 7pm. Which would be fine, except that the reading was 110 pages (literally, half the reader). Also, I'm not sure if the teacher is too keen on me, and I don't know why. :(

Good: Before moving out, I had the most fun going through piles of clothes, books, and other crap that people had thrown in the lobbies to be taken to Goodwill. I was like the Grinch, going in with my empty bag and filling it with goodies. I was able to pick out new pairs of jeans that actually fit my slimmer waist, shorts, notebooks, stuffed animals, and about seven pillows (including two full body pillows). It was great! It was like going to a thrift store, but you didn't have to pay! I probably got about $250 worth of stuff, a good number of which I was actually in need of.

Bad: The stares of the people as I was climbing on top of the mountain of clothing, excavating it. Their stares. Their judging stares!

Good: My room, which is basically one floor down and one room over from last year's summer room, looks pretty much the same, just a little nicer (and with a lot more pillows).

Bad: That tree is still in the way...

Good: It's summer which is my favorite season for the following reasons: longer days, balmy nights, dragonflies, the fact that the reduced number of students makes you feel like you actually own the school, and watermelon!!!

Bad: We need some actual summer weather around here!

Now, for this last one, I'm switching it around.

Bad: Ever since I mentioned at our first hall meeting that I worked in the Unit, people have been asking me questions as though I were just some RA.

Good: I can tell them: "I'm not an RA. Don't ask me." HAHA!!!

Put It on Account...ing

I am finished with Accounting! Forever (in academic terms, at least)!

Huzzah!

My final was yesterday from 5pm-8pm. My sleep pattern prior to that had become...erratic, at best. Like, there was no rhyme or reason to it. Sometimes I would sleep from 9pm-1am, sometimes from 3pm-7pm, or any other off-kilter times. And I became quite hermetic. My door was always closed, mainly because I was an unsightly mess, eating a mix of Trader Joe's Salsa Verde (the best salsa in the world) and breath mints. Needless to say, I wasn't at my finest.

But who cares?! I'm finished with Accounting! The final itself, which I needed to do well on so as not to b0rk up my GPA, wasn't as bad as I was fearing. Still, I'm going to be no more than cautiously optimistic. But it's finished! FINISHED!

(As you may be able to tell, I didn't like Accounting. I think it's quite telling that I was no better than average in that class, while I was in the top 5% of both my marketing and consumer behavior classes.)

Oh, two more things!

I think I may have figured out what that insanity-inducing noise is. It's not coming from the walls themselves, but rather from the stairwell. I notice it has started only after someone has closed the door leading to the stairwell (which my room is directly next to), or when someone in the stairwell hit one of the metal handrails. Then it started. So, I think it has something to do with that.

Doesn't really make things better; the sound still drives me crazy, but at least I have some solace in knowing the source.

Second, I was watching the movie Amadeus the other day (I watch pieces of movies as I eat dinner, since I can't really do anything else during those 25 or so minutes). Thing was, though, I didn't realize that the thing was a two-disc movie. I only had one disc, and I thought that this scene was the ending:

Me: "........Huh."

And I thought No Country for Old Men had no closure in the ending. This didn't even have credits! Oh well, I thought, it's their movie, they can end it however they like. It took me a full day to realize that I still had an hour of movie left.

I immediately put it on my Netflix queue. Don't tell me how it ends!

Jerk: "Psst! Mozart dies!"

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Coming Into the Home Stretch

Two classes done with, three finals to go. I just had a final yesterday (despite not being in finals week). It was for my consumer behavior class, which I loved, and I think I got either a 95% or a 100% on the test.

Oh, here's an interesting tidbit: for my Star Wars DeCal final project, I ended up writing a Choose Your Own Adventure story. 80 pages, 27 endings, and many, many hours of work.

However, I think it was all worth it, as the course facilitator told me that he liked it so much (having actually laughed-out-loud several times), he's going to put it into next year's course reader. So, I asked what any Berkeley student would ask: "Does that mean I pass the class?"

His response: "B-."


(NOTE: I'm not going to put it up for download here. Not so much because I'm worried about copyright issues, but rather because it's a bit racier that the things I usually put on my blog. Case in point, I incorporated a lot of Pulp Fiction/Snakes on a Plane lines into Mace Windu's scenes, similar to this. [NSFW!])

So, Andrew, What's Going On With You?

That's a fair question, title bar. While I'm still on a tight schedule, I thought I'd give a few updates as to what's going on in my real life:

School:
This has been a little bit of a rough-and-tumble semester for me. I'm having a somewhat rockier-than-normal time in my Accounting class. It's not like I'm failing; I'm just...average. Which is fine in the long run, because I have no interest in ever pursuing accounting at this point. Still, it's definitely not going to help my GPA any. So that's no good.

My economics class is a strange creature. I did very well (well above the median) on our only midterm, but I've struggled with about half the homework assignments (the other half were no issue). The main problem with the homework, I think, is that we're never taught the material. It's not in the book, it's not in the lectures; hell, it's not even online! Hence, you need to be either exceptional at lateral thinking, or spend at least 6 hours on a single homework assignment. Blech.

I love my consumer behavior class. Looooove it! It's just fascinating stuff. And I'm good with class participation. I'm known by some people as "the guy that can divine [yes, they actually said 'divine'] all the right answers." No problems, save that we have to do group projects, and I'm in a group with a bunch of people who don't care about the class (and don't know how to write, apparently).

And the rest: I only need 4 out of a possible 40 points in my final module of personal finance. And my Star Wars DeCal is going...I...uh...I'm sorry, I must have something in my eye.

Internships:
Ain't gonna happen at this point. Even if I found a summer job, working it will be difficult, for reasons I'll explain later.

Now, I'll be honest. While nobody may have been able to tell (because nobody can ever tell), I've actually been in a very irritable, bitter mood for the last couple weeks. It's gotten better, but hasn't completely passed. I am going to hazard a guess and say that part of me is still shaken up about the whole internship thing. For a few reasons. First, I've been thinking that I was no longer needed by the time I was interviewed. Thinking back on my interviews, they were pleasant...perhaps too pleasant. There was never any challenge questions to them. No case questions, no nothing. Just pleasantries. So whose to say that it wasn't a foregone conclusion as I walked in the door.

The second issue is just a feeling of...I don't know, failure, I suppose. Maybe this is just a version of me going into a hissy fit when things don't go my way. A quiet, brooding hissy fit. Definitely something to work on. I guess it may just be the achiever in me. I like to have things to show for long periods of effort.

But anyway, I think I may be turning over a new leaf in that regard. While I nominally said in the beginning, "I have accepted the fact that I don't have an internship," I think I may actually have accepted it at this point. And this is due, in part, to...

Summer Sessions:
...My insurance plan. Basically, I decided to apply as a Community Coordinator for the Summer Sessions. It's somewhat like an RA's superior, but also is in charge of Security Monitors. So it will be useful for my job next year. I will be...oh, what? I didn't explain that yet?

My Job Next Year:
So, I got accepted as a Security Coordinator for the 2008-2009 academic year. This is a live-out position, so I don't get free room and board, but I do get paid an hourly wage of $14.50, so that's something. Basically, I'm in charge of all the Security Monitors, who are the people who sit at the front desks of all the buildings and swipe people in.

...Except where I was assigned.

So, it's back to good ol' Clark Kerr Campus for me! I'm not living there of course, and my interaction there will be somewhat limited, but still! Now, at CKC, the SM job is a bit different. Instead of having one in each building (and me being in charge of three buildings), there is one for the entire unit. That means they don't have to swipe people in or be trained for anything like that. They just need to sit there until someone needs something from the front desk. Oh, and the shifts are an hour shorter, so the second shift for the night ends at 1am, not 3am. Oh, and since there's only one booth, there are a total of 14 shifts to have covered each week, not 42.

So, for both the SMs and the SC (me), it's a much easier job.

So I got that going for me. However, it's pretty hectic right now, as we need to hire people. In fact, my weekend is swamped with interviews. Then we have training next weekend. It's definitely filling up my schedule. Good thing I get paid for everything I do relating to it!

So, that brings us back to...

Summer Sessions:
So I, along with someone else, was chosen to be a Community Coordinator for the summer. This is kind of like an SC with added responsibilities, though when there are two people, you can divvy them up somewhat.

I had a pretty good feeling I was going to get the position during the interview, as I was told that there were 2 open slots and 4 applicants, and later that I knew more about "the system" than did the RD I would be working with. (I'm kind of known around the upper management in the Office of Student Development for being an old hand by now.)

So, I'll be in Berkeley over the summer (I never leave)!

To better utilize my time here, I decided to enroll in classes for the first six weeks of summer. One class, specifically. It's in a major I've never heard of: New Media. It's on Interactivity. More specifically, it's on how technology has change interactions with each other, with the world, and with ourselves. Here's a flyer, and the syllabus, so you can get a general idea. I figured that the topic would actually be quite relevant to marketing, so it would be a good idea to take it.

Doing so, though, puts me in an especially interesting situation. I'll talk more about it later, but the general overview is this: if I wanted to, I can graduate in December.

I'll be learning more about exactly how everything's going to work out, so stay tuned!

Losing Weight:
So, I measure myself yesterday, and I weigh 176.6 pounds, that's a scant 1.6 pounds aways from my main target of 175. To put this into perspective, I'm pretty sure I haven't weighed this much since junior high or earlier, when I was a bit shorter. Essentially, I'm in the best shape of my life. Haven't been working on muscles; that's stage two (even so, I still have more than I used to). I think I'm going to take my official "After" pictures once I pass th 175 mark (who knows; it may even be next week).

Oh, and I have an enormous ribcage. That, and other observations, at a later time.

RA Life:
I'm a genius in some respects. Under normal circumstances, I would have anywhere from 14-18 days of duty in a timespan of two months, which can take its toll on you. Through wise negotiation and being the guy that helps out the needy when nobody else does (and nobody ever does), I've managed to make it so that for the months of April and May, I have a combined total of 6 days of duty. :D

Still, I've hit my RA wall a while back. It's time to pass the mantle onto one of my residents, who's going to be an RA next year at Unit 2 (and during the summer, to boot). Actually, I'll let him make his own mantle; mine's a bit faded at this point.

Extracurricular:
I'm being interviewed today for a position as Creative Committee Director in the Undergraduate Marketing Association. (Yes, this is the same day I am also interviewing others.) I'm a good fit for the position, particularly if I'm one of two co-directors, but if I don't get it, oh well. The way I participate in the organization and the way I hobnob with the current officers, you'd think I was already one.


...And that's all I can think of now. Which is good, because I have to go to bed. Goodnight!

Dear School...

Can I PLEASE go to bed before 4am one of these days?

PLEASE?!

Getting more than 4 hours a sleep once in two weeks would be nice.

Cop-Out: A Star Wars Short Story (Story 1)

So, I've decided that for my final project in my Star Wars class, I'm going to write a few short stories revolving around the life and times of my created character, Akker. (I'm also planning on asking my friend Alex to perhaps do a couple illustrations for it). Since I realize it will be quite the process, I wanted to get some of it done ahead of time. So, I'm working on it during Spring Break.

(Quick aside: While there are only a few [literally, like, three] RAs here right now [and nearly no residents], we're actually having a fun time.)

So, I just completed one of the short stories, and then I thought to myself, "Hey, why don't I show this on my blog rather than write something new?" So that's exactly what I decided to do. It may not make much sense by itself, as it's part of a larger thing, but whatever. I've included links for explanations to any Star Wars information.

Also, I apologize for any misspellings. I didn't even bother with a spell check. When you're writing a Star Wars story, it seems as though half the page is underlined in red.

............

The coliseum was abuzz with life. The first half of the events had been completed, and there was another hour before the second half began. The smells of roasting womp rat filled the halls. It was a salty smell, drenched in some unknown sauce. Just letting the aroma reach your nostrils made one’s mouth water.

“Beautiful…” Uthor muttered under his breath. Salivation was his friend, as those liquids would need to be replaced. And what better way to hydrate a mouth than with a pitcher of Uthor’s special blend Fizzbrew. The stout man mentally counted the customers standing in the line for his stand while pouring glass after glass. At this rate, he’d be able to get transit fare before the second half.

Suddenly, Uthor saw a somewhat short figure running up from the side. Normally, he wouldn’t pay any mind, but the figure, wearing nothing but a battle shirt and a few leg wrappings, was instantly recognizable. In fact, it was the reason he was able to get the gig here at the Arcopola Coliseum.

“U-THOR!” The figure shouted with a exuberant smile and index fingers pointing to the merchant.

“Akk-ER!” Uthor responded in kind before placing the One Moment, Please sign on the stand. He stepped away from his post and turned to his friend, “What’s going on?”

Akker quickly blew a few locks of hair from in front of his eyes. He then smiled at Uthor. “You’re betting on my match, right.”

Uthor was dumbfounded. “What are you talking about?” he said, “I never bet on the matches. You know that.”

“Nonononono. That wasn’t a question. You are betting on my match.”

“Why? I have Fizzbrew to sell.”

“Pah! You keep selling at gigs like this, you’ll never get anywhere. By the looks of it, the most you’re going to get by the second half will barely cover transit fare.”

“Well, yes, but…”

“Uthor, have you seen my odds for this match?” Akker asked as he pulled a small slip from who-knows-where in his battle skirt. He handed it to Uthor, who instantly recognized it as the event program. It listed all the matches of the day, as well as the betting odds for each. His eyes scrolled down the pamphlet until he reached an entry reading Akker the Fallen Jedi.

“…Twelve-thousand to one!” Uthor shouted in disbelief.

Akker’s sharp-toothed smile widened. “I know, it’s great.”

“What in Gret’s name are you facing?”

“I don’t know! I don’t care! Think about it, Uthor. Wager your stand, and if-”

“Wager my stand?!” Uthor tried to protest, but a claw-like finger was placed over his mouth. Akker cocked his head, which was his body’s way of saying “Shut up.”

After Uthor decided he wasn’t going to argue, Akker continued. “Your stand is worth, what, 5,000 Credits? You wager that, I win, and suddenly, you’re able that full-blown pub you wanted on Telos. Understand where I’m going with this?”

“Well…that’s quite an opportunity.”

“It may be your only opportunity, buddy. The only other time my odds have been above 200-to-1 was when they had that typo on the program for the Tatooine Slaughter.”

Uthor remembered that time, but didn’t laugh like he usually would. This cart was his only means of income. It was his livelihood. How could he just wager it, even if it was on one of the greatest fighter’s he’d ever known. He was never much of a risk-taker. He looked into Akker’s slate gray eyes, so full of confidence and excitement. Well, Uthor thought, what’s one more risk. “Okay,” he said aloud, “I’m in.”

Akker lit up like a supernova. “Great!” He rushed to the Fizzbrew stand, tore off the One Moment, Please sign and replaced it with the one that said, quite simply, Closed. There was some commotion amongst the customers.

“What are you doing?” grunted the Gamorrean standing in the front of the line, “I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes.”

“Judging by your looks, I’ll say it was a ten minutes not wasted.”

“What?! I’ll crush you, you little punk!” The Gamorrean grabbed Akker by the throat and began to squeeze.

And that’s when Akker’s eyes shot open.

They didn’t bulge like a man suffocating, but rather a man possessed. His mouth curled upward from ear to pointed ear, brandishing a multitude of demon-like teeth in a psychotic smile. Akker’s arms shot out and grabbed the Gamorrean by his garments. Akker quickly pulled in, smashing the Gamorrean’s face against his own. The Gamorrean yelped in pain. Akker briefly gave his arms some slack before pulling their faces together again. And again. And again. Before long, the Gamorrean’s face was smashed and silent, while Akker’s was covered in a yellowish blood. His bulging, bloodshot eyes closed, and a moment passed before they reopened, perfectly normal. He looked at the rest of the customers.

“We’re closed. Have a nice day.”

The crowd scattered without a word. Akker looked back at Uthor. “Okay, so remember, wager it all on me.”

“Gotcha,” Uthor responded. As his friend walked away, though, he called out, “Ak-KER! …What if you lose?”

Akker responded as he always did: with a smile. “I don’t want to sound mean, but it doesn’t matter whether or not you have the stand. If I die, your enterprise is essentially over. See you later!”

***

Uthor felt uncomfortable sitting here in the stands. There were drinks to be sold. Not that he could sell any, what with the betting office holding his stand in storage. Still, a merchant’s instincts are hard to quell.

However, now was the moment he was waiting for. His life was on the line in this upcoming match, and so he wouldn’t miss it for the world.

“Ladies, gentlemen, and other,” a voice boomed over the speakers surrounding the coliseum, “We have a special treat for you today. We’re sure you’ve heard of Akker, the Fallen Jedi, as he’s made his rounds on the Blood Circuit. He especially made his name with his antics during the Tatooine Slaughter. Well, let’s welcome him to the Arcopola Coliseum!”

The was a uncontrollable din within the coliseum as people cheered and jeered. Entering from a small door, Akker sauntered with his customary swagger. He blew kisses to one side of the audience while thrusting his hips at the other side. Uthor, unsure of how to act, simply clapped his hands a few times.

“Now, while on Tatooine, Akker’s betting odds were misprinted at 3,000-to-1. Now, you may have thought that our odds were also misprinted. We can assure you, they were not. However, if you think that you can make a quick fortune by betting on this fallen Jedi, you’ve got another thing coming.”

“What?” Uthor said, filled with a sudden sense of worry.

“That’s because Akker’s opponent is no mere fighter. We got something…special for him. And let’s see what it is!”

Suddenly, a large section of the coliseum floor began to open up, and an underground platform began to raise. Sitting atop that platform was the largest beast that Uthor had ever seen. While not an expert at animals, he recognized it as a drexl, the apex predator of Onderon. Its wings were lashed behind its back, presumably to keep it from flying away. The beast itself seemed to be dressed in armor, which struck Uthor as odd, seeing as a 25-meter beast shouldn’t even need such protection. And it was facing his best friend.

“Oh, no…”

***

“Oh, yes!” Akker said to himself. He could smell weeks’ worth or rotting flesh coming from the drexl’s teeth, but nothing fresher. This baby was hungry.

But it was also big. Too big to fight with his normal methods. No, simple bloodlust was ineffective here. He would, more than likely, have to go to his backup plan: the lightsaber.

“Say, Akker!” He heard the announcer say. He was a little surprised at first; announcers didn’t usually converse with fighters.

“Um…yeah?”

“This beast is too big to fight with your normal methods. Perhaps, as a fallen Jedi, you should use your lightsaber.”

“Ha! Great minds think alike, and all that,” Akker said, making no attempt to hide his sarcasm. He didn’t like how much they were playing up the whole “Fallen Jedi” angle. Made him seem like some sort of chump.

Suddenly, the drexl’s head came racing down. Akker jumped away just in time, so that the beast’s face slammed onto the sandy floor of the coliseum. Akker then took out his lightsaber and turned it on. It’s black blade hummed like a good Twi’lek masseuse. It would make short work of the drexl. With a deft movement, Akker swung the lightsaber upon the beast’s forehead. It should have split its skull in two.

…Should have.

And yet, here the drexl stood, its skull quite intact.

“…Huh.”

“It’s not going to be that easy Akker. You see, that armor is forged from Mandalorian Iron. Impenetrable, even by a lightsaber.”

“Hey now!” Akker yelled back, not sure where the announcer was located, “Thanks for letting me know after I got into the fight.”

“We don’t give 12,000-to-1 odds for nothing, Akker.”

“Well-” Akker began, but was cut off by a huge backhand slap by the drexl, which sent him flying. He slammed into the wall, sending dust and chips of cement into the air. This snapped him back into the present. Akker fell to his feet and stared at the drexl. He then closed his eyes for a moment before opening them as wide as possible.

And then he could see the beast behind the armor. Or rather, the Force which made up the beast. Appearing as though swirls of crude paint, he could see its every movement, its every tendency. As far as he knew, no other Jedi, fallen or straight, could see the Force like this, save for his dead master. Unfortunately, all he could ascertain was that he wouldn’t be able to get through the armor with any physical force.

Mental forces were a different matter.

For the past month or so, Akker had been experimenting with a new technique. Any Jedi worth their salt knew how to manipulate and move things with their mind. But what if you could do that on a molecular level. In theory, it’s simple: move two molecules away from each other. Do that enough and whatever you’re focusing on loses its molecular structure. Yes, in theory it’s simple, but it takes some work in practice. Akker, whose unique way of perceiving the force allowed him a better sense of the location of even individual molecules, had tested the technique on rocks and small lizards, turning them into nothing more than piles of goop.

A drexl…that would take a bit more work.

However, Akker was always up for a challenge. He ran around the coliseum, avoiding the claws and teeth of the enormous beast. Careful not to waste too much energy, he bided his time until the drexl’s head came straight toward him. Akker jumped into the air and landed on the faceplate of the drexl. He then focused. Hard. He visualized as many of the countless molecules comprising the drexl’s body as he possibly could. One by one in rapid succession, he pulled them from their place, sending them flying.

Akker heard the drexl shriek. He could feel it bucking its head to and fro. Barely. He was too focused on his current work to care about anything else. He couldn’t tell how much time was passing in his current state. It could have been second, it could have been a half-hour. All Akker knew was that, sure enough, the drexl was sinking to the ground.

After the last molecule was torn from place, Akker closed his eyes. He allowed his vision to go back to its normal capacity, and reopened his eyes. When he looked, he saw that the drexl’s indestructible armor was still intact, even if it was in a heap. Underneath it, he could see a sticky lake of purplish gel which was the drexl’s new form.

“Force…dissolution. That’s a good name for the technique,” Akker said to himself, smiling. He could barely even hear that, though, amongst the deafening chaos that had overtaken the stadium from his victory.

***

Argen Vise, the owner of the Arcopola Coliseum, was pacing back and forth. “I hope you’re happy, Akker. Do you know how many people placed a bet on you?”

“I don’t fight so people bet on me. I fight to fight.”

“People put novelty bets on you. They figured it would be good for a laugh. Instead, it’s like a lottery that everyone wins! There’s even some merchant I have to pay some sixty million credits to!”

Akker smiled when hearing that. He sat down in the most comfortable-looking chair and said, “Hey, I didn’t set the odds at 12,000-to-1. Whoever thought of that idea needs to be fired.”

“We’re all fired because of you, you know that! We’re bankrupt! We won’t have any money after paying off these bets. And it’s all because of you.”

“So? A man doesn’t just sit down and let himself die so you can make a profit. At least, I don’t. Like I said, I fight to fight,” he said, staring Vise square in the eyes. “Besides, your demise makes possible the opening of my friend’s new pub. I’m sure he’ll be opening on Telos fairly soon.”

“What do I care about your friend?”

Akker stood up and stepped gingerly toward the door. “Because,” he said with a toothy smile, “If you want to find me, that’s where I’ll be. And Uthor’s a nice guy. I’m sure when he sees you’re down on your luck, he’ll let you have a Fizzbrew on the house.”

And with that, Akker stepped out.

Cop-Out: Pictures! Pictures for you!

I've got a job interview today.

Then I have a midterm to take.

Then I have a program to present at.

Yes, I know I've been bombarding you with "I'm busy" notes, but I can't help it. I'm busy.

As some filler, please accept these random images of interest.

First, here is my new business card:
It's very simple and non-flashy, and it sure-as-Hell won't get me featured amongst the more imaginative cards. Now, if I had all the money I needed, I think I'd go for a card like Steve Wozniak's. But I don't, and this one gets the job done, while at the same time confirming my place in Haas. So it'll do.

Second, this is what my hair looks like when I wake up in the morning:

If only it was a bit cleaner and more symmetrical, I would never even have to mess with it at all!

Finally, here's that picture of the weight I've lost so far (meaning, by a couple Fridays ago).

I'm actually making this one a pure link. Click here if you want to see it. Don't click if:
1. You want to wait to see a more dramatic change later on.
2. You don't want to see me without a shirt on.

Okay, that's all for now. I promise more/better content in the near future...sometime.

In the meantime, wish me luck!

All About the Super Bowl!!!

Just kidding. ^_^

I didn't even know who was playing in the Superbowl until the New York Times emailed me a "breaking news bulletin" announcing the winner.

So, rest assured, this will not be about the Superbowl.

Maybe, after I watch some collection of all the commercials, I'll write something about that. But as for the sport, I had absolutely no interest in it. Sorry, Patriots and Giants fans (if any).

However, seeing as I'm about to start my third week of school, it may seem logical to talk about what classes I'm taking this semester. So that's exactly what I'm going to do!

I'll start off by saying that I tried to give myself a less intense semester this time around, mainly because I'm going to be looking for summer internships this semester (soon this semester) and I'd also like to take part in a business case competition or two. Don't worry, I'm not in any danger of falling behind in my unit count. In order to have enough units to graduate, I need to take 27 total units over the next three semesters. However, in order to remain a full-time student, I need to take 39 anyway. So, I'll be A-OK.

I also tried to schedule my classes to begin relatively later in the day (that is to say, not at 8am and 9:30 everyday). And I think I was relatively successful in doing so. My "First-Class-Time" schedule throughout the week is
12:30-11:00-12:30-11:00-10:00

Now, while you may think this makes me look like the laziest bum alive, I think I can redeem myself my noting that my wake-up time throughout the week looks like this:
8:00-8:00-8:00-8:00-8:00

One of the reasons for this is because I'm currently on a new (and, so far, successful) diet and exercise regime.

(Quick aside: It irks me when people say, "Oh, you shouldn't do diet and exercise. You should do a change of lifestyle." What the hell does that mean? Seriously, the only difference between a diet and a "change of lifestyle" is how long you can keep it up. Plus, "change of lifestyle" sounds so new-age and pretentious. That is why I refuse to call it that.)

Anyhoo, I'm waking up at 8am every day so that I can go to our exercise room for 30 minutes of a high-intensity elliptical workout. No, it's not as satisfying as being able to type on my laptop when I was back at home, but the handlebars aren't positioned correctly, and I don't have as much time (especially when there are other people waiting). What I end up doing is downloading movies (nature documentaries, to be exact) to my iPod and watch them on a tiny little screen. Not very satisfying, but it gets the job done.

The rest of my morning time is spent taking a shower, checking out the Internet, and getting anything that needs to get done, done. Then off to class. And what are my classes? Well, let's take a look!

UGBA 101B - Macroeconomics
A required class. A lot of people in the economics department like to say "Macro makes up about 20% of economics, but it takes up 50% of economics lessons." That's seems so true. And it often seems as though it's less relevant and interesting to what I'm going to be doing than Microeconomics. However, the professor is very enthusiatic, so I appreciate that. It should keep me awake.

And, yes, there is a lot of talk about the current state of affairs in the country and the world. So it's relevant in that sense. So it's got that going for it. Overall, it seems like it's going to be okay.

UGBA 102B - Managerial Accounting
Another required class. As a recap, I hated financial accounting last semester. I did fine in it, but gah! is it boring and tedious and...blah. Well, managerial accounting seems like its more relevant to my purposes than financial accounting. You see, what financial accounting boils down to is the annual report for a company; the balance sheet, the income statement, etc. Lots of journal entries, lots of tedium, lots of ech. Managerial accounting, on the other hand, is about the internal accounting aspects; that is, seeing if certain practices are cost effective. And it has a lot less in the way of journal entries. So far, it's looking much better than financial accounting.

But still: Accounting. -_-

UGBA 160 - Consumer Behavior
Not a required class. This is, of course, related to my marketing focus, and I can tell you already, it's fascinating. The professor has some sort of experiment each session, where we learn about some new aspect about consumer behavior.

For example, did you know that in a blind taste test, the majority of people preferred the taste of tap water to bottled? Yet when people knew what they were drinking, the results skewed heavily toward the bottled water. It's all perception, doncha know.

A funnier thing is that my professor said in class, "Before this water experiment was carried out, many of the test subjects said that they could tell the difference between tap and bottled water, and preferred the bottled, yet when they took part in the blind test, they preferred the tap." What's funny is that when I was describing this experiment to one of my co-workers (also at Haas) he told me, "Oh, I can tell the difference between bottled and tap water." And when I tried to tell him that he likely couldn't he insisted he could. It's weird; we've been trained to "know" the difference when there isn't any real difference to be known!

UGBA 96 - Personal Finance
Another non-required class. Hell, I'm not even getting any credit for it one way or another. Why am I taking it, then? Simple: life skills. I've been told that classes such as a personal finance class are ones which many people which they had been able to take in college. And the opportunity is now presenting itself. So, I think it will be useful for me in the long run to take this class. Plus, of the three different lecturers, I've already had two of them, and I have a good relationship with them both. So it shouldn't be bad.

Classics 198 - The Star Wars Galaxy
"What the hell?"

I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that this was your first thought when you read that title. Here I have four different business classes and then one on Star Wars? Well, I think I needed to balance out all that serious stuff with something fun. So, I decided to take a DeCal. A DeCal, for those not in the know, stands for "Democratic Education at Cal". It's basically a class in which a student facilitator teaches other students. If you think that's a stupid idea...well, you're wrong. After all, this blog was the product of a DeCal. Show some respect, whippersnapper!

Anyway, I did a lot of preparation in choosing which DeCal I would take. There were 80 or so of them, but I weeded them down according to my own availability in the early evening (when the majority take place) and general interest. In the end, I narrowed the selection down to the Star Wars one and one about Lewis Carroll. I do have a genuine interest in reading Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, because the wordplay in them is very intriguing. However, a class about Star Wars, regardless of how academically useless it was, just seemed fun!

I did have some reservations, though. I was worried - honestly worried - that the class was going to be filled with socially awkward nerds who could finish a sentence without stuttering.
Nerd Voice: "N,no...that's...that's not what Darth...Plagueis would have said. He...he would have been...he would have been more patient."
And so on and so forth. And before you try to tell me I'm generalizing, I know at least two guys just like this. You know, the kind of acquaintance you feel awkward around. And I was seriously concerned that one or both would be in the class.

However, everyone seemed to be fairly normal. Well, there were some eccentric ones, but they were actually quite sociable, so that's a good balance, I think.

And, as an interesting note, I found out two days later that my facilitator is actually a resident in my building. I've probably seen him before, but just never paid him any mind. However, this puts us in a very interesting position. I don't plan on being in a situation where I don't pass the class, but even if I was, I could just tell him, "Fail me, eh? That sounds to me like a case of failure to comply with hall staff. ID, please."

(Oh, funny story: Notice that the class is Classics 198. Well, in order to get the class approved, the facilitator had to make a proposal to the department chair as to how the class was related to the subject. He admitted that his reasoning was a bit of a stretch: "Well, Rome used to be a republic and then became an empire, just like the Galactic Republic." Apparently, it worked.)


So anyway, that's my Superbowl school year primer. Any questions?

The Lobotmist's Dream All-Purpose Holiday Cards!

Well, I'm all done with finals. My last little piece was an essay for my "Politics of Music" class. The essay is complete trash, but I'm taking the course Pass/No-Pass, and at this point, I could get a big red F on the essay and it wouldn't make a difference.

(Quick aside: Do teachers really make F's as large and visible as possible on their students' papers and tests? That's how I've always seen it portrayed, and it really doesn't seem tactful or tasteful.)

Anyhoo, I could have put more effort into the essay, but I was preoccupied. I spent literally a day and some change on being a nice guy.

Wait, what's that?

Yes, during the majority of the calendar year, I am a stone-hearted, anti-humbuggery stodge-podge. However, I usually find myself to be a little it kinder to my fellow man for a little bit each year. But usually this only consists of me giving a smile and a friendly hello instead of my customary fork-in-the-eye.

Not this year! No, this year, I decided I wanted to do something extensive. Like give a little holiday greeting note to each of my coworkers, coupled with a Hershey's chocolate bar (provided by my traditional meal point surplus). However, I don't give just any old notes to my coworkers.

No, no, no. You see, I have a reputation of giving people drawings instead of notes. Random drawings. Simplistic, almost childlike drawings with the equally-childlike act of having an expository description with an arrow pointing to the drawing. What's not childlike about them is the fact that they are either completely random or actually portray a someone morbid/downer scene. I got this reputation some time during the beginning of the year (I don't exactly remember what the circumstances were), but it's one I kinda like. So, I decided to give everyone a unique holiday card with one of my special drawings.

However, here's the problem: I have 30 co-workers (actually, just 29, but 30 sounds more impressive). I had to come up with 30 random things. And not just random like "a chair" or "a Twizzler." No, these are supposed to be off-the-wall, out-of-the-box, and down-town things. Now, it's easy to think of one ("a piano skydiving" - see?), and you can come up with several with little difficulty. By 10, you're starting to feel the strain. By 20, you are banging you head against the wall. And those last couple make you want to chew the skin off your knuckles. It's really amazing how difficult it can be (especially when you're limited on artistic resources).

However, after a day and a half, I was able to make it through all of them, and I added the corniest notes you could think of and put in some chocolate bars, slipped them in envelopes with names fancily written on, and sealed them with my official seal, and put them in our staff mailboxes. So that's that.

But that's NOT that! I wanted to continue my nice streak, so I'm gonna!

I've included all of my holiday cards here for your pleasure. Feel free to use them in one of four ways:
-As is.
-After erasing my name. As much as I'd like to receive credit for the letters you send, I understand.
-After erasing my note. You may wish to go with something a bit less corny, tacky, and pun-filled.
-After erasing the picture. Now stop and think about why you've wasted both our time.

So, browse through! (NOTE: These are in no particular order. Try to guess which ones are my favorites [guesses go in the comment section]!)

Octopus playing maracas and concertina

Flying hammer brigade

Sun and Snowman: BFFs?

Nearsighted anaconda writing memoirs

Pliny, the Elderly Apple

Rasputin, the Dream-Spewing Hat

Schizophrenic pocket watch at 6:20 (pm)

A pair of overalls participates in the Olympic javelin toss with his parents looking on

Self-loathing demon pickle dog

A street-smart fish taking off his shirt after a hard day of fighting inner city crime

Frog trying out for the cheer squad

Rabbits' boat in the desert

FLAAAAAME thrower robot

Pot gaining self-awareness

Purple centipede-at-arms

SUPACAT

A lollipop pondering the mysteries of the universe

Kinda cool turtle playing on his first drum

Teddy bear accused of a crime he *didn't commit* + The *real* criminal

Bowling pin magician that says you've chosen the ace of Spades (he's wrong)

Luke the Flame reconsidering his vacation plans

Tarantula cooking dinner

Two different species of eyeballs falling in love

Golf ball riding a bicycle

Mother grapes watching child go off to college

Students graduating from skeletal school

Crocodile pulling off some sweet moves on the slopes

Jerry the Orange accidentally goes down a slight incline while his friend looks on

Unhappy tree delivery service


Whoo! Good hustle, kids! As a special bonus treat, here are some brainstorming sketches I made (including an unused cotton candy secret agent).

As a special special bonus treat, here is an additional sketch of a mysterious character. If I'm not mistaken, only two of my readers should really be able to correctly guess as to his identity, and only after I give the hint that he's holding a poorly-drawn fish in his hand.

Okay, that's all the nice vibes from me. Begone witcha! But be sure to stay tuned to find out what really happened with the V8 blob (probably in a couple days, after I go back home).

Free Masons Run the Country!

Hey hey!

As you may have been able to figure out, the trickling of updates is caused by the fact that this is that magical time of year known as finals.

I just had one today, so usually today might be considered a rough day, but it was actually quite a nice day, for the following 10 reasons.

1. I am fairly confident that I not only did well on the test, but may very well have aced it, 100%, which would guarantee me a high A in the class.
2. I arrived to my testing room 1.5 hours early. Now, the classroom is notorious for having the smallest little fold-out surfaces on their chairs in the entirety of the campus. However, there are two rather spacious tables in the room, meant to be a boon to any potential disabled person. Since there were none taking this final, and because I arrived so early, I had this entire table to myself (it would have actually been against the rules to share it, as we had to be spread out. Oh, well).
3. It was very good that the desk was big, because I had a lot of notes (it was an open note test; that's how the professor makes up for teaching nearly 50% more than the normal Econ class).
4. To prep for this open note test, I went through all the midterms and finals of previous years and made an index of every possible problem type and concept that came up for easy reference. When I mentioned it to others, they said they did something similar, but by the way they said it, it seemed as though mine worked better.
5. You know how they say you should take a test in an environment similar to your how you study (or is it vice versa)? Anyhoo, my problem is that I need music when I study. However, it's usually not kosher to listen to music while taking a final. "Whatever," I mused to myself as I put on my headphones. I listened to a single calm, unintrusive song ("Patzivota" from Cirque du Soleil's Varekai) on repeat for pretty much three consecutive hours. And the GSIs saw me, and they didn't seem to give a damn. And it really helped, I think.
6. I had a nice sandwich for dinner.
7. It was absolutely freezing (35 degrees, I later saw) when I left the final, but I had the foresight to bring along during the warm day my jacket and gloves...the gloves my mom says make me look goth. :(
8, 9. [Filler material]
10. We got an updated gradebook for my marketing class, which basically counts everything but the final (so about 80% of our total grade). While there weren't any rankings listed on it, I did some Excel calculations, and found that in the class of 180+, I am ranked 4th. Not too shabby.

So, that was my day...yesterday. Hmm, it's past 4am. Maybe I should go to bed.

Grace of God Addendum

You remember that Microeconomics test that I had a good feeling about when I most assuredly shouldn't have? The one where I felt there had to be some divine intervention?

Heh.
Apparently, God doesn't work in mysterious ways. Rather, they're quite simple, but effective!

There, But For the Grace of God...

Hello, hello!

Well, my Hell Week is officially over, and though I have a lot of reading to catch up on, and some assignments to do, my main pressures have been alleviated.

But let's take a look at what actually made me label this time period with such demonic flair.

Well, first, the last two weeks or so have all boiled down to Thursday. Thursday was the day in which I had to give a large and very important group presentation in my marketing class. This is a presentation that forced me and three others to meet a lot. And most of you already know my opinion on group projects (for those that don’t: I dislike them). So it was tough. And we made sure to be very thorough, even though I - the guy who always ends up being the de facto leader of every group I’m in - tried not to be in a leadership position for once.

So, keep in mind that I was either meeting up with people or actually working on this project during the course of these two weeks.

Now, last Saturday was the Amazing Bear Hunt. This was, without doubt, the largest and most intensive programs of the semester (and possibly of the year). We were meeting at least twice a week to prep for it, and working on it all other times. The program was essentially a huge photo scavenger hunt (much more intensive than the one I was involved with). It lasted 12 hours, from dawn to dusk, extended through San Francisco, and had over 300 clues for people in teams of 8-to-10 to find.

Because it was our first year ever doing this, we did everything from scratch. Websites, sponsorships, planning, clue-writing…everything. My main role was making the website (which is, as you may have been able to tell, necessarily similar in design to my old IDS 110 final project website), but I had plenty else to do as well. For example, I was one in charge of reading and responding to questions, concerns, complaints, etc. Not because I was necessarily ordained to do so; it was because nobody else ever checked the Gmail account. I also designed the logo (which I can’t show to you for reasons too long and uninteresting to go into, even for me) and the t-shirts.

Now, we’ve been planning this since August. But, as you may expect, we did extra work in the days leading up to Hunt. This meant packing and unpacking stuff, do this, doing that, etc. So, basically, my Friday was forfeit. But I still had to work on not only my project, but two midterms I had that week. So, I didn’t want to be wasting my time sitting around at some base camp in San Francisco. So, I told the team that I would have to stay in Berkeley.

In exchange for my absence, I promised to be the contact person, sending out text message notes and challenges to all the teams (all 25 of them). I also said that I would be that contact point for all the teams.

Wait, what?

Now, let me give you some background. I hate phones. I hate talking on phones. I prefer almost any form of communication (email, IM, face-to-face conversation) to phones. Don’t ask me why. There’s just something about having the obligation to pick up a machine after it produces this sound, only to speak with some disembodied voice. Now, if it’s someone I know and like, that’s fine. But when I have to talk to someone I don’t know, usually about a problem, I’m not so hot on that.

However, I figured that I wouldn’t have that many calls. People know what they’re doing, right?

Wrong!

I kept a little log of all the phone calls I got. And I averaged them for over the course of 10 hours (which is when I got the bulk of them). And I got, on average, a phone call every 5 or so. Over the course of 10 hours! Do you know how insane that is? It was like the third layer of Hell.

And it was a long day regardless. I woke up at 5am, and went to bed at 2am. And I was beat.

But it was over. At least, that part of everything was.

On Monday, I had an Accounting midterm. First, I have found out I really dislike Accounting (there goes my boyhood dreams of becoming a CPA), and two, I wasn’t prepared for the test. Regardless, my strategic studying paid of, and I only really lost points on multiple choice questions, resulting in a final score of 86 (which was not in any way bad).

The next three days were completely preoccupied with my group presentation. This was bad, because I also had a Microeconomics midterm on Thursday, immediately before the presentation. And Tuesday’s pretty much taken, what with my RA responsibilities and all.

Wednesday? Well, Wednesday pretty much just disappeared.

So I was stuck with Wednesday night to finalize and memorize my parts of the presentation, as well as study for the midterm. And, to put it simply, there was no sleep. Here, let me put a terrifying image in your mind. Imagine me (wearing my glasses to reduce strain on my eyes) taking a icy cold shower at 2:30am while downing a can of disgusting-tasting Full Throttle energy drink. (A quick aside about energy drinks: I think the reason they’re so disgusting is so people don’t get hooked on them.)

So, as the hours and minutes melted away, I found myself with less and less time to study for my Microeconomics midterm. And by 6am, I knew I had run out of time, because I had to get dressed (in my new suit!), and be at Haas by 8am in order to rehearse with my group.

So, 8am comes, and I meet with my group. Lo and behold!, my group hadn’t memorized their parts yet, even though the presentation was in a scant 4 hours. We found an empty room with a projector, set up our computer, and went through.

Now, I wasn’t using notes in any of our run-throughs. I don’t use notes. I don’t even have them tucked away somewhere. In all my years of theatre work, I’ve never had to ask for a line, and I wasn’t going to start here. Notes are a crutch, and I’ll be damned if I ever use them.

However, as Lady Irony would have it, I completely blanked out on one of my self-cues near the beginning of my rehearsal. I knew I wouldn’t forget it again, but still, one of my teammates said, “Do you have a set of backup notes?”

“Yes,” I said, “They’re in my backpack.”

“Well, maybe you should have them by the computer. You know, in case you choke.”

"…”

I swear, based on her reaction in the next several seconds, I must have given her the most unsettling glare ever. However, she brought it upon herself by insinuating that Andrew Schnorr chokes. As I told her upfront:

“Andrew Schnorr does not choke.”

(Quick aside: This same team member had previously made a comment in our preparations that had gotten the better of me [though I didn’t let it show that time]. When we were in slight disagreement about how to make a certain advertisement, she said to me, “Well, I know something about advertising. I’m in a group called ImagiCal. You ever heard of it.” My response? “…In passing.”)

The rest of the rehearsal went flawlessly…for me, at least. Note, I’m not trying to brag. Anyone who has seen me on stage knows I put my heart and soul into making sure I am flawless in front of my audience. However, my teammates somewhat stumbled through their parts. I was worried, but some of my worries were alleviated after our second run-through.

Thing is, though, the by the time we were done going through twice, it was 10am. I had one hour to study for my Microeconomics test. Now, it wasn’t as gloom-and-doom as you may be thinking. First of all, I’m not a complete dunce in economics; after all, it was my original major. Second, the test was open-note, open book, though that good news is tempered by the fact that the professor gave us over 100 pages of confusing handouts.

The main problem with the midterm, I knew, was going to be the wording of the problem. Our professor was famous for being tricky on the tests. So, what do I study if I know it’s open-note? The old midterms, of course. I figure that they’re the most condensed, relevant materials I could look at. So, the majority of my studying was finding where different problems (with solutions) were on the old midterms, and hopefully get enough info on the way to not need notes at all. However, 10:50 came too soon. I still did not feel prepared (nor should I have).

Now, there’s a prayer I say before all my tests. It’s a prayer I’ve said since high school, and it goes as follows:
Let me write what must be written.
Let me withhold what must be withheld.
And let me perform on this test to the best of my ability.

After that, I’d add on some “filler prayer” to complete it, like “I know this, it shouldn’t be an issue.” Basically, a little affirmation betwixt God and I about how I’m feeling.

Well, my little end-cap to the prayer this time was simple and sweet: “Give a kid a break.”

And then I took the test. And this is what the title of this post is referring to. Because, literally, I must have had some divine intervention, as I felt it went great. I knew things, and the things I didn’t know, I found quickly, as if some invisible hand were guiding me to market equilibrium the answers in my notes. In the end, I feel like I got a solid A, if not a perfect score. You better believe I was looking toward the ceiling and winking a lot.

So I had that working for me going into the presentation. And I felt good. And let me tell you, I nailed my parts of the presentation. The rest of my team didn’t do too badly either. Our main problem, though, was that our conclusion was apparently (and unequivocally) wrong. Eh, no skin off my nose. It was a poorly written case to begin with, and there were other groups that have been more wrong. Still the professor dug into us after class for nearly 10 minutes about all the problems we had, before giving us a 95 (obviously one of the higher scores). Hell, if the grade works, I’m willing to take an hour of verbal abuse.

Almost as a way to celebrate a Hell Day well-finished, I participated in a market research experiment, where I did basically nothing but press one of two buttons seven times, and I made $16. Sweet! Maybe I’ve been wrong all these years; maybe being a guinea pig is the way to go!

Talk to you later!