Monday, July 23, 2007

Note: Taking a Break to Do Some *Real* Work

Just so you know, I am exceptionally busy at the moment, as I have a research paper to worry about and a convention to prepare for. So, I'll just take the safe approach and say that I'll be taking a break from the Internet for a week. I may crack and post something somewhere along the way, but don't count on it.

So, I guess I'll see you next week, full of pep and vinegar. In the meantime, enjoy this very soothing video about a game that I really, really want to buy.

Thursday, July 19, 2007


Here's an interesting article I saw today. And here's my little paraphrase for those too lazy to click the link:

Some British 16-year old paid £95 ($194) for a used PlayStation 2 and two games from some auctioneer on eBay. When the package arrived, it came with the system, but without the two games. In their place, there was €65,400 ($90,000). The kids parent's brought it to the police for investigation, but if no one claims the money by September 22, the kid can legally keep it.

Says some hotshot eBay spokesman, "We know that eBay is a great place to pick up a bargain, although in this case, we agree that the contents of the parcel were somewhat unusual..."
Carlos: "Hey, THE_BOLSHEVIK."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Hey, Carlos."
Carlos: "What's in the box?"
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Oh, it's a PlayStation 2 I bought on eBay."
Carlos: "I thought you hated Sony."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "That's irrelevant for our purposes here."
Carlos: "Well, how much did you pay for it?"
Carlos: "$200? Seriously? Did it at least come with any games?"
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Yes! Two, in fact!"
Carlos: "...THE_BOLSHEVIK, you could have bought a PS2 and two games for less than that new at the store. On eBay, you shouldn't have paid more than $75 for what you got."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Well, I...I think that if I pay more for it, I'll get greater joy from it."
Carlos: "Wait, isn't the economic principle the opposite of that?"
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "It's my PS2; I'll pay what I want for it!"
Carlos: "Well, why don't you open it?"
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "I'm going to do just that, Mr. Smart Guy."
THE_BOLSHEVIK opens the box and takes out a PS2 and a small bag.
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Aw, man! They shorted me my two games?"
Carlos: "What's in the bag?"
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "The games, maybe?"
THE_BOLSHEVIK shuffles through the bag.
Carlos: "What is it?"
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "It's...$90,000."
Carlos: "Wow, that's the best return on an investment I've ever seen!"
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Yeah, a 45,000% return rate."
Carlos: "Looks like all your troubles are over, THE_BOLSHEVIK."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Yep! Happy days are here again, thanks to Mr. John Watherton and his mysterious bag of money!"


Carlos is reading a newspaper while THE_BOLSHEVIK is playing on his PS2.
Carlos: "Looks like there's a murder story in the paper today."
Carlos: "Victim shot 18 times."
Carlos: "Victim's house sacked."
Carlos: "Victim's name was John Watherton."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Hehe. 'Watherton'."
Carlos: "Where have I heard that name before?"
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Well, I did just buy this PS2 from a John Watherton. Had to get the games myself, though. Cheap bastard."
Carlos: "Wait, didn't that PS2 come with money?"
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Yep. $90,000, baby."
Carlos: "..."
Carlos: "..."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "...Oh, God! OH, GOD!!!"
Carlos: (Beginning to leave:) "It's been nice knowing you, THE_BOLSHEVIK."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "No, Carlos, you can't leave me! Me! In my hour of need, me!"
Carlos: "You're grammar's breaking up, THE_BOLSHEVIK. I should go."
There is a slow, loud knock at the door.
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Save me, Carlos."
THE_BOLSHEVIK looks around. Carlos is gone.
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Goddammit!"
The knocking continues.
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Oh sir, or madam, surely your forgiveness I implore. For you see-"
The door breaks open, and a large individual rushes in and grabs THE_BOLSHEVIK by the throat, pinning him to the wall.
Kris: "Hey, THE_BOLSHEVIK, do you like my new hand moisturizer?"
Kris: "Yeah, I just bought this new lotion. It makes my hands feel so smooth."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Well, yeah, but why did you break down my door and rush in like that?"
Kris: "Oh, well there's a funny story to that. When I was-"
Kris: "Down I go."
Enforcer: "Where's the money, Fat Boy?"
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Hey! Neither killing my friend nor calling me names is very nice!"
Enforcer: "You're a Chemistry major, right? Can you tell me what happens when you mix bullet with brain?"
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "I'm...not a Chemistry major, actually..."
Enforcer walks over and picks up the money bag.
Enforcer: "Here we are. You didn't spend any money, did you?"
Enforcer: "Be honest."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "I spent $50 on a Three Stooges collection."
Enforcer: "I'll take that, too."
Enforcer walks to the door.
Enforcer: "That'll be all. Now remember..."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: (Clutching his leg) "Argh."
Enforcer: "Leave some positive feedback."
Enforcer leaves. Carlos enters.
Carlos: "Hey, guys, sorry about that. I was just making a phone ca...huh."


Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Some Comfort...

At least I know if my writing and my business skills fail, I can always fall back on my music career.


Or, at least, my CD Cover designing career.

...And now, off to bed with me!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

You May Quote Me If You Like

In my desk drawer, I have a bunch of Post-It Notes that have little quotes on them. They're not quotes by Benjamin Franklin of Maya Angelou, though. They're by a source that I always attribute to as either "Anonymous" or "Author Unknown". In other words, me. I briefly touched on this earlier, but the main reason I never attribute quotes to myself is, well, it makes me seem a little pretentious. However, I think I come up with some good quotes, though they all have different contexts. Some were actually said, on the spot, by me when asked a question. Others were just things I thought of at some random moment. Still others are quotes from characters in my stories.

I'm just going to give a short list of quotes that I've thought of, as well as their origin. This list is in no way exhaustive; it's only the ones I was able to dig out of my desk drawer. However, it is a nice little sampling, and I give you permission to use any of them (and remember, it's not pretentious if you attribute them to me!).

"I understood what they were trying to tell me, rather than what I thought they were trying to tell me."
-Andrew Schnorr
This actually came during a feedback session that I participated in. The were asking us about a series of programs we are in, and whether the earlier ones or later ones were better, I said the later ones were, because of the above line. One of the people taking down the feedback said, "Huh, that's a good quote." I smiled and said under my breath, "Yes, it is."

"I'm a terrible critic, primarily because I'm an excellent diplomat."
-Andrew Schnorr
I thought of this while writing critiques for other people's blog posts back when this was still a class (and, based on the lack of response I got from my hail to those people, it seems like none of them are still here). I can edit someone's style without a problem, but I have a hard time telling someone what's wrong with the content, even if I dislike it. Hence, I say that I'm an excellent diplomat, because I always try to stay on everyone's good side, and that makes me a terrible critic.

"Being lost is one of my favorite things in life. After all, that's the only time you can find your way."
-Andrew Schnorr
This was another one I thought of. It's at least partially true, of course. However, part of me thinks I subconsciously made it up as a way to ease the humiliation of being a horrible navigator, and thus easily lost (did you know that during one trip, I got off the same offramp six times? True story).

"Sometime, I feel a lot taller than I actually am, because even though I'm very down-to-earth, my head is always in the clouds."
-Andrew Schnorr
Get it? Get it? I thought of this one day when writing in my blogs, because I've been described in two basic ways: very pragmatic and focused, and also completely nuts. So, I made some clever observation based on two sayings relating to the ideas. Get it?

"I need to start using the term 'landed gentry' more often."
-Andrew Schnorr
...What? I do.

"My decisions outrank your desires."
-Evil Military Dude
This is from a TV series I have in my mind. I won't go too much into it, but rest assured, magical powers are a part of it. There's also a big part about the military, in which many of the shows villains are in (the military is good in the show; it's just being sabotaged). The head evil dude, who's a colonel, uses this line when talking to one of his subordinates, when they ask for something that directly contradicts with his plans. I think this is one of the best quotes on here, personally.

"I'm in an excellent mood. I'd like to be rid or it."
I said near the end of this post that I had a character based on Oscar Wilde in a futuristic bounty hunter movie. This is a line he says inside a bar when the barkeep asks him how he's doing. He then immediately orders a beer.

"Who are you to say that I am not real? Have you ever considered that you are as unnatural to me as I am to you?"
-Man in the House
This comes from a spiritual journey story I have called Dreaming in Sepia (though I was very disappointed to find that I was not the only one to think of that phrase). In it, the main character, who is in a near-completely empty world (most aptly compared to Windows' "Bliss" picture), finds a house in which there is a person living. At first, the protagonist tells him that he's not real, which prompts this line.

"Realizing that I'm not alone has made me realize how alone I really am."
-Man in the House
This is another line by that same character. I think it deserves a little more explanation. Like the protagonist of the story, the Man in the House thought he was the only person in the world. However, unlike the protagonist, the Man in the House didn't realize that other people existed at all. Hence, meeting the protagonist completely changed his world view. As the protagonist spends time in the house, he begins to notice extra chairs and pictures of the Man in the House with a family. The Man in the House explains that now that he knows that other people exists, he realizes that he must have some sort of family, and so his world is physically changing in order to accommodate for that fact. However, this also is depressing for the Man in the House, because it also means that his family is not there with him, for whatever reasons. Eventually, he asks the protagonist to leave, hoping that by doing so, he will forget the fact that there are other people in existence, and perhaps become happy again.

So there you go. Every quote has a story, and there's always more to have. Until next time, happy quoting!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

The Bull and the Bear are Marking their Territories

Buy Price: $37.55
Shares Bought: 150
Current Price: $52.20

Profit: $2,197.50

Nintendo, I love you!

(P.S. A cookie to whoever gets the reference in the title without looking it up on Google!)

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Questionnaires:Soundtrack to My Life

One of my favorite types of questionnaires is the kind called "The Soundtrack to My Life". Well, it's not even a questionnaire, really. It's just a game. Basically, what you do is set your music player to shuffle and see what comes up to the different acts/events/questions/etc. This forms up the "soundtrack" to you life. How you interpret the choices is up to you.

What's interesting about my collection is that it features more actual soundtracks than most. That means that my answers often have more actual score pieces than your average John Doe.

I've done a couple of these before, but this particular one is one I got from Comrade Chavez. Basically, it told me to ask these questions and then listen to the result. So, let's get to it!

How does the world see me?:
You’re Still You – Josh Groban
So, the world sees me ...Still me. ...Yep, still me. I guess I can never escape it; I'm still me.

Still, listen to some of the lyrics: "I look up to everything you are; in my eyes you do no wrong." Looks like the world and I are on pretty good terms.

Will I have a happy life?:
Suite from Swan Lake: Alverachi (Act I) – Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky
Hmm...I don't know, some of this piece sounds like it comes from a romance movie...but a romance movie set in the Holocaust. The other half of it sounds like it's from Star Wars. So I guess my happiness will come from rescuing Princess Leia from a concentration camp and falling in love with her.

What do my friends really think of me?:
The Ice Dance – Danny Elfman
While the song doesn't directly answer my question, it is quite beautiful, and so it probably means that my friends think that I'm a beautiful person (after all, the whole world appears to see me that way). That, or they think I'm an icy person, but a great dancer.

Do people secretly lust after me?:
If I Were a Rich Man – Fiddler on the Roof
Aha! I knew it! The ladies (and I suppose the odd fellow) doesn't lust after me, but rather what's in my back pocket (I'm talking about my wallet, you pervert!). I guess the way to a ladies heart is through the jewelry section at Sears.

...I kid, ladies, I kid.

How can I make myself happy?
Mission Impossible Theme

What should I do with my life?:
Angels We Have Heard on High – Manheim Steamroller
What the hell does it matter! It's apparently impossible for me to be happy, so it's irrelevant for me to do anything with my life! I...wait! What's that music! In the distance! It sounds angels singing, high high above. I hear them! They're sweetly singing o'er the plains! And the mountains, the mountains are singing in reply, echoing their joyous strains! Gloria! Gloria! In excelsis Deo! That's it! That's it! I shall bring tidings of a newborn king to the world! That is what I must do with my life! Hallelujah!

Will I ever have children?:
Yoda and the Younglings – John Williams (Star Wars, Episode II)
You know, I didn't even listen to the song. The title just says it all. Some of these "answers" are creepy in their relevance. But, apparently, I will be a Yoda-like figure for my children.

"To you room, you must go! And an allowance, no longer you will receive."

It's a nice song, anyway.

What is some good advice for me?:
Blessed to Be a Witness – Ben Harper
Hmm, I think this is pretty good advice. Half this song is just the phrase "I am blessed" over and over. My guess? The advice is that I should recognize how blessed I am. As I said, good advice.

How will I be remembered?:
Killer Wants to go to College – Paul Simon
O_o This doesn't bode well...

What is my signature dancing song?:
Are You Ready? – Johnny Clegg
Actually, you can dance pretty well to this song (well, some parts of it, at least). It even tells you to dance the "Oshakati Mamba" (after crossing yourself twice).

What do I think my current theme song is?:
The Handshake – Bad Religion
Huh, this is a song condemning the modern world, in particular the business aspects of it. Fairly ironic, considering...well, you know.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?:
Snagglepuss Theme Song
Seriously? This is what you think my song is? It would only be appropriate if I were some really short, fat guy in a suit with a monocle and top hat, and continually tipped my hat to everyone as I walked, while in my other hand I raised some sort of scepter or cane in beat with the music.

What song will play at my funeral?:
I Miss You – Blink 182
Remember what I said about some of the songs being so relevant it's scary? Perfect example (in title, at least). It's actually about missing some love one who's abandoned you, but you could tweak it to mean a dead person. In particular, that "shadow in the background of the morgue" line could literally be talking about a poltergeist of some sort.

What type of men/women do you like?:
Streamline – System of a Down
Hmm...if I were to guess, I would say this song is about not being there for your significant other. So, I suppose I like women (yes, women) who I can be there for (and, I suppose, are there for me. This is a two-way relationship, sweetheart!).

What is my day going to be like?:
Mrs. Jesus – Tori Amos
Sooo......I am going to spend the day having deep religious contemplations? Or am I literally going to meet a lady named "Mrs. Jesus"? Maybe she can keep me from becoming a killer (who subsequently wants to go to college).

And with that, this version of the soundtrack for "Andrew Schnorr: The Musical" is complete. So, what have I learned? Well, making myself happy is impossible, despite the fact that I am blessed. This is because I secretly hate my own field of study, and am never there for the ladies, who don't lust for anything but my money. This leads me to become a killer who wears a top hat and a monocle who rescues Princess Leia from Nazis and then dances with her in a poverty-stricken area. I then meet Mrs. Jesus, who turns me from my life of crime and leads me to preach the good news of Christmas. Because of this, and despite my past transgressions, everyone in the world thinks great things of me (except for my friends, who consider me to have an icy personality). In the end, people will miss me when I die.

...And somewhere along the way, I have kids. Go figure.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Shilling at its Finest...

There's some random YouTube director who keeps sending me their videos. I don't know why, but I decided to actually click on this one, and the first minute-point-five were very, very interesting (I didn't watch anything after that).

For those who don't know, my father is the President of Ancient Harvest Quinoa Corporation (whose website I will work to update as soon as he sends me some graphics and logos and such), the largest distributor of quinoa (quite possibly, the world's healthiest food) in North America.

Now, considering that this individual gave this YouTube video to me, I can only assume they're spamming it throughout the system. And when I saw it, there were no comments. Perfect. If you check now, you'll see that the first comment is by someone called "THEBOLSHEVIK" (what a coincidence). Here's what it says:

"Quinoa has to be one of the best healthy foods I've ever eaten. It's a shame so few people have ever heard of it, but since it looks like it may be getting some exposure now, more places will carry it! ^_^"

So there you go. Now, anyone who looks at the comments will see that and be influenced. I'm quite proud to have completed my civic duty as the son of the self-proclaimed "King of Quinoa". Now, if you've ever had quinoa, go praise it on the comments on that video. If not, go eat it and then praise it. Your friend Andrew will thank you!

Monday, July 9, 2007

My Weekend...

Okay, remember how I said I'd have a full recap of the past days events before the weekend was over?

...I lied.

However, I will give you a barebones timeline of the events that transpired, so that you don't think that I have good reason for not having time to go into full detail.

8am: Wake up and prepare for the day.
10am: Get to Haas Class of 2009 Orientation.
3pm: Finish with orientation; go buy books from bookstore and take care of some other errands.
4pm: Get back to Unit 2 with a boatload of free merhandise, including a new backpack (one of the advantages of business school: they can afford nice gifts).
5pm: Take care of some business.
6pm: Meet up with students to go on my third trip to Target. Spend over $150, mostly on ink cartidges. I also got a replacement pair of sunglasses (I need to return the ones I bought last week) and the new J.R.R. Tolkein book, The Children of Húrin.
9:30pm: Get back Unit 2. Make waivers and other preparations for a Saturday trip to Lake Anza that I was helping put together (but got very little communication from the group leader). Also, help with a dance that was being put on at the time.

12:30am: Talk with residents and do some reading for Haas, as well as other miscellaneous items.
5am: Go to bed.
9am: Wake up and prepare for the day.
10am: Go down to office to get as much together as I could, and to meet up with the leader of the program.
10:50am: Go to leader's room and knock on her door, waking her up (she apparently slept through her alarm).
11am: Go to courtyard and wait for residents. Worry about the fact that it's totally gray and about 55 degrees.
11:15am: Become completely surprised at the fact that about 30 people show up despite the weather.
11:20am: Get residents to sign waivers, try to figure out how to get to the lake by bus.
11:35am: Walk down to distant bus stop.
12pm: Get on bus.
12:30pm: Get to lake; try to figure out where we're suppose to go without using cell phones to contact our group members who already alrived (no service).
12:45pm: Finally find our campsite. Begin barbecue.
2:30pm: Decide it's not worth staying. Tell people to get ready to leave.
3pm: 2/3rds of the people putting together the trip drive off, leaving myself and one other RA to guide everyone to some bus stop...somewhere.
3:30: Finally get to the bus stop. Wait for another half-hour. Hear people grumbling.
4pm: Bus finally comes.
5pm: Get back to Unit 2. I go eat dinner.
6pm: I walk into my room and hurl myself on the bed.
6:02pm: Fall asleep.
10:30pm: Wake up. Do reading for Haas.

2am: Do different assignment for Haas, as well as some miscellaneous items.
4am: While taking shower, realize that the top of my head is sunburned. Why didn't I wear my hat?
4:30am: Go to bed.
11am: Wake up. Prepare for the day.
11:45am: Go out to prepare for SF MoMA trip.
12:15pm: Meet and gather residents together.
12:30pm: Take bus to BART station.
1pm: Take BART to San Fransisco. Try to get some more Haas reading done on the way.
2pm: Arrive at SF MoMA. Begin trip.
3:30pm: After walking through rooms titled "Standing Nudes", "Reclining Nudes", "Sitting and Crouching Nudes", and "Male Nudes", a co-worker and I come to the conclusion that featured artist Henri Matisse was a pervert.
4pm: Experience what is, without doubt, the single best piece of modern art I have ever seen or even heard of. It's called "You and I, Horizontal" by Anthony McCall. It's basically a pitch-black room with a haze machine inside. A bright light then shines a shifting-but-ultimately circular design onto an opposite wall, illuminating the particles between the two areas. It's especially cool if you're on the inside of the circle, because it is totally like a vortex, with the mist moving and swirling about. It is definitely going into my future billion-dollar house as a sort of meditation chamber. Here's a picture that doesn't really do it justice.4:30pm: Walk around nearby San Fransisco with co-worker. We happen upon the Baseball All-Star Game Fan...thing. Free Taco Bell and Ice Cream Drumsticks! Although they ran out of Taco Bell right before we got to the truck, we did happen to be the first people (of, like, 100) in the Drumstick line. I didn't even need one, though, because some random chick offered hers to me...wait, that doesn't sound right.
5:30pm: Meet with rest of group. Walk back to BART station.
7:15pm: Get back to Unit 2. Continue doing work for Haas, and some other stuff.
Now: A Haas assignment that I've put off until now (it's not due till Wednesday, but still).

So, that's my weekend (a true RA weekend). I was hardly even near a computer for most of it, so don't sue me for not keeping true to my word. G'night.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

By the Way...

I was curious: does anyone from the Blog DeCal still read this? If you do, just give me a "shoutout" (as the kids call them) in the comment box.

Busy and Tired Weekend Cop-Out: Videos!

Blech, so busy, so busy. I have four programs in as many days, plus all my new Haas stuff. I had some fun experiences yesterday; I just wish I had more time to write about them (and wasn't so damn tired). I promise they'll be done before the weekend is. In the meantime, here's several parody videos. It's a collection parodies of the movie 300, and other shows (it's pretty obvious what they are).

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

An *Actual* (Slightly Paraphrased) Conversation Betwixt a Resident and I While Playing Medieval II: Total War

Me: "Uh, oh, the pope's getting pretty old."
Him: "I think he's going to die pretty soon."
Me: "Man, I liked this pope, too."
Him: "Well, let's take a look at the College of Cardinals, see who the Preferati are."
Me: "Dammit, there's a Dane as the front-runner!"
Him: "That doesn't mean he's going to be elected."
Me: "Do you see how pious he is? He's considered a living saint, even by his enemies!"
Him: "Well, if he's a sure bet, you should probably vote for him when the time comes."
Me: "I cannot have a Dane as the pope! Particularly when I'm trying to destroy Denmark."
Him: "Why are you trying to destroy Denmark again?"
Me: "Because after I married my princess to one of their generals, they attacked him without provocation!"
Him: "Wasn't that, like, a hundred years ago?"
Me: "No, more like fifty."
Him: "Wow, talk about holding a grudge. They attack you once, and you exterminate their civilization."
Me: "Hey, let's focus here. There's a man whose people I want to destroy who is going to become pope."
Him: "Right. Quite a conflict of interest. So, what are you going to do?"
Me: "I need to assassinate that Dane before the current pope dies."
Him: "So, how many Cardinals have you assassinated at this point?"
Me: "Like, eight or something."
Him: "And you're killing these innocent men so that you can be in charge of a religion?"
Me: "Hey, that's the way things work in this world. The pope is essentially the king of kings, so I need to make sure that the king of kings is a Spaniard."
Him: "Remember the last Spanish pope? He almost excommunicated you."
Me: "The last Spanish pope was a jerk."
Him: "And this one won't be why...?"
Me: "He may be, but there's still a greater chance of him liking me than a Dane."
Him: "Fine, go assassinate your Danish Cardinal."
Me: "Fine, I will. I have three assassins ready. And, watch!"
Him: "..."
Me: "...Damn! They won't be able to reach him for another year."
Him: "You better hope the pope holds on that long."
Me: "Well, we'll see."
Him: "..."
Me: "..."
Him: "..."
Me: "...Dammit, the pope's dead!"
Him: "Must've been a bad year."
Me: "Dammit, they're having the papal elections! I'm a goner!"
Him: "Look, one of your Cardinals is up for election. You should vote for him; maybe you'll get lucky."
Me: "I'm not sure, but it's better than voting for the Dane."
Him: "..."
Me: "...Dammit, the Dane won!"
Him: "He's apparently not going to forget your lack of faith."
Me: "In him or in the Church?"
Him: "Does it matter? The pope hates you. I think an excommunication is going to be in order soon."
Me: "Maybe..."
Him: "Then everyone's going to hate you. The Papal States, all the good Catholic nations...even your own people. It may even lead to revolution if it gets bad enough."
Me: ".........I need to kill the pope."
Him: "Make sure you don't get caught. If there's anything worse than not voting for the pope, it's trying to kill the pope."
Me: "I have the best assassins in the world at my disposal. If there's anyone who can assassinate the pope and get away with it, I can."
Him: "Go ahead and try. I think the pope is probably one of the hardest people to kill."
Me: "Oh, yeah? Let's see..."
Him: "..."
Me: "...Dammit! The assassin failed. Flawless subterfuge, my ass!"
Him: "Well, the assassin must have had a tattoo of the Spanish flag or something, because the pope just declared war on you."
Me: "Dammit!"
Him: "And your popularity as a king has already started to decline. You know, since you tried to kill the Holy Father."
Me: "Alright, I need to rally my troops. We march on Rome!"
Him: "You do realize that won't gain you any favor points."
Me: "There's a frackin' crusade against me! It can't get any worse than this! Besides, I have my kings' personal legion in Bologna. I could attack before the year is out."
Him: "You're sending your king in to fight the Papal States?"
Me: "I want my king to deliver the final blow."
Him: "Okay...."
Me: "Alright, laying siege to Rome."
Him: "..."
Me: "..."
Him: "..."
Me: "Yes, I have them trapped in the middle of the city!"
Him: "You might want to hurry, there are some French troops entering from the west."
Me: "HA! Got him! Take that, you clog-wearing son-of-a-bitch!"
Him: "Well, now I guess your Spanish Cardinal is going to be pope now."
Me: "Hell yeah!"
Him: "..."
Me: "..."
Him: "..."
Me: "..."
Him: "...I love how the use of a brothel makes it so this game has a 'Sexual Themes' warning, but they don't make any mention of the potential for ruthless papicide."
Me: "That's America for you!"

And God Bless America, too! Happy Independence Day!

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Twenty Short Notes on My First Haas Day

1. It was fairly painless.

2. Contrary to popular opinion, not all business professors are pompous douchebags. In fact, the two professors I have seem to be genuinely nice people, and one of them is more concerned about social justice than anything else.

3. It's actually not an eight-hour marathon day. It turns out that I misinterpreted this page, thinking that there were two discussion sections. In reality, there's only one. That means that I have an hour and fifteen minute break between my section and my first lecture. Then I have a one hour dinner break at six. So, really, it's only a 6.25 hour marathon.

4. Speaking of that dinner break at six, none of the on-campus restaurants are open, so I can't use my spare meal points. In order to avoid going to the abysmal Top Dog, I went down the Chipotle on Telegraph.

5. Chipotle's burritos are pretty darn good.

6. Apparently, Chipotle has a new thing where you can order your burrito online and pick it up at the store, so as not to wait in line. Seeing as I was waiting in line for no more than 3 minutes, I can't really see this catching on.

7. Oh, right...I was supposed to be talking about my classes, wasn't I?

8. My discussion section was canceled. I was anticipating this, as it was the first day. But I went anyway, at least until 10 minutes past the starting time. Then went on some errands, including looking for a new pair of sunglasses (I just bought some on my trip to Target, but have since realized that I don't like blue lenses).

9. I was in my full Indiana Jones outfit, with jacket and hat. I think it worked pretty well.

10. I wasn't the least "business-looking" person there, though I was the only one with a goatee like mine.

11. My first class is one on the "Ethical, Social, and Political Aspects of Business". Our professor made sure to point out the irony of it being held in the Arthur Anderson Auditorium.

12. They explained that there was a very good reason to have the ethics class taught before everything else. Don't worry, I'm not going to turn into a soulless monster.

13. The professor of that class seems really easy going; I think he may have said more things jokingly than he did seriously.

14. That same professor also mentioned that in his 17 years of teaching the class, no one has ever failed. That basically means it's an easy A.

15. In that class, we have to write a research paper on some topic that both interests us and is relevant to the class. One of the ideas he mentioned was the overseeing of video games (ratings, distribution, etc.); question being, who should be responsible for them. I think I'm going to do that as my topic, as I know a bit about it, and know some great resources to interview.

16. My other class is about "Business Communication". Because apparently, most students can't communicate worth a damn...which I'll actually agree with. It seems like its going to be pretty fun, though. And I think my acting background will help with that.

17. According to my professor for that class, most people think that the number of languages you speak is directly correlated to your IQ. You know what I say to that? Bull! My language capacity is a little sub-par, but I'm quite happy with my IQ, thankyouverymuch.

18. I think the funniest mnemonic device I head all day was the following:
Q. What radio station do all businesspeople listen to all the time?
A. WIII-FM: "What is in it for me?"

19. I think things are going to turn out aaaaaaall right.

20. Fine, I don't actually have 20 notes. 19 was about it, but that doesn't sound good in a title. You happy now?!

Sunday, July 1, 2007

*Cue Sappy, Emotional Music*

Well, the kicked-back, carefree days of summer (ha!) are now over, as tomorrow I begin my first official classes as a Haas student.

...*Sigh* No matter how short or long summer is, it is never long enough. At least I can't say that I wasted this summer (though, to be fair, I could play ping pong with the pope and still feel that I wasted my summer). I've made new friends, done some cool stuff, learned a lot, got RA experience, and even saved a life (seriously; I'm two for two in that regard now).

Last Friday, all of our Session A-only students left. I was sad to see a good number of them go, in particular Bernhard, my favorite little German kid who lived across the hall from me. We'd always talk with each other, but I guess now we'll only talk digitally (though that is one of the miracles of the modern age). I'll also miss some others, including the Singaporean girls, a couple of Indian guys, and some random people here and there. Amazingly, I was able to get to know these people better in six weeks than I did my residents the entire academic year. I attribute that mostly to the fact that these people wanted to do things with me and with other people.

As luck would have it, though, only a small amount of my personal residents moved out. I still have most of my guys left, as they are here for 12 or 13 weeks. I'm very happy about that, because there are still things I look forward to doing with them.

Unfortunately, now I will be busier than ever, as these are serious classes, and take up a good portion of time. What do I exactly mean by that? Well, even though I only meet on Mondays and Wednesday's (four-day weekends every week, baby!), the classes are from 1pm - 9:30pm! That's quite a day (be sure not to call my cell phone during those times). We'll see how it all goes. On the bright side, all my classes are in the Haas buildings, which are well-known for having the nicest rooms of any of the buildings, bar none.

Even though I'm losing almost two days a week, I hope this doesn't hurt my relationships with my residents too much (that's another reason I'm glad I have so many long-termers: I don't have to worry about spending time building too many new relationships). I think it should be fine, and I think it should be fun.

Still, wish me luck! ^_^

...Okay, and now I'm off to help with yet another social.