Sunday, May 27, 2007

Some Pros and Cons of Being on the Eighth Floor of a Building

Pro: Being a legitimate elevator user.
Con: Having to use the elevator.

Pro: That feeling of satisfaction when you have all your stuff and go down the elevator to the first floor.
Con: "...I think I forgot my wallet...*sigh*"

Pro: You can leave your windows open all night, and nobody can see you.
Con: ...Well, they can't see you when you're sitting. Make sure you're wearing pants when you stand up.

Pro: I have a beautiful view of the Golden Gate Bridge and the entire SF Bay.
Con 1: The rooms with the Golden Gate view are those across from mine.
Con 2: Fog.
Pro: I do have a beautiful view of the courtyard and the Berkeley hills.
Con: The hills are fine, but there are often a bunch of smoking international students in the courtyard. (Seriously, though, they smoke like there's no tomorrow. Especially the French and the Indians. I really wish the first person who had thought of, hadn't.)

Pro: There are always attractive girls sunbathing on the lawn below me.
Con: There is a tree directly in my line of sight to the lawn.

Pro: The random pebble or scrap of food can be thrown out the window, and no one's the wiser.
Con: You're not allowed to throw pebbles or scraps of food out the window.

Pro: It's cooler in the summertime, since it's slightly in the atmosphere than the lower levels.
Con: It's hotter in the summertime, since hot air rises.

Pro: No loud jerk above you.
Con: A jerk below you who thinks you're a loud jerk above him. (Hasn't happened...yet.)

Pro: It's out of the way, so people from other floors don't come over to bother you.
Con: It's out of the way, so people from other floors don't come over to visit you. (Though, with an elevator in place, this may be the case with most floors. You could completely avoid some floors altogether.)

Pro: I have dominion over all I see.
Con: Not actually true.

Oh, in a completely unrelated, un-segued topic, I would just like to say that orcas are vicious. Vicious. People don't realize that just because they're friendly to humans (why, I don't know), they are called Killer Whales. That's not because they were named by oceanographer James T. Killer. It's because they're, like unstoppable. I told you the other day that I was watching some nature documentaries. Well, I was watching the Blue Planet and saw the following:

Intense, no? (And just so you know, that corpse isn't wasted; it'll feed sea creatures for years.) But yeah, apparently, the orca is the world's deadliest predator. What about the Great White Shark?, you ask. Ho hum, the killer whales kill them, too. So just think, the next time you're at Seaworld, when you're looking at Shamu and saying, "Oh, it's so cute," remember that he's staring back at you...hungry...and waiting.


Anonymous said...

Good Pros. Bad Cons.

Pro: Shamu is cute
Con: He wants to eat me

Pro: I want to go to Sea world for the whales
Con: The whales are "hungry and waiting"

Ah, decisions decisions.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, I truly hope that when you do stand up, you are wearing pants. I wouldn't want you to be confronted by a blackmail shot...On second thought, if the blackmailer is me or one of my henchpersons...

-Comrade Chavez

Anonymous said...

See, Squall? Orca's not good. I'll take the tiger any day.

Andrew-san is atleast wearing boxers, ne? Right...?

Andrew Schnorr said...

Don't worry, I'm always fully clothed.




Anonymous said...

Shall we start calling thee Tobias?