Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Questionnaires:Soundtrack to My Life

One of my favorite types of questionnaires is the kind called "The Soundtrack to My Life". Well, it's not even a questionnaire, really. It's just a game. Basically, what you do is set your music player to shuffle and see what comes up to the different acts/events/questions/etc. This forms up the "soundtrack" to you life. How you interpret the choices is up to you.

What's interesting about my collection is that it features more actual soundtracks than most. That means that my answers often have more actual score pieces than your average John Doe.

I've done a couple of these before, but this particular one is one I got from Comrade Chavez. Basically, it told me to ask these questions and then listen to the result. So, let's get to it!

How does the world see me?:
You’re Still You – Josh Groban
So, the world sees me ...Still me. ...Yep, still me. I guess I can never escape it; I'm still me.

Still, listen to some of the lyrics: "I look up to everything you are; in my eyes you do no wrong." Looks like the world and I are on pretty good terms.

Will I have a happy life?:
Suite from Swan Lake: Alverachi (Act I) – Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky
Hmm...I don't know, some of this piece sounds like it comes from a romance movie...but a romance movie set in the Holocaust. The other half of it sounds like it's from Star Wars. So I guess my happiness will come from rescuing Princess Leia from a concentration camp and falling in love with her.

What do my friends really think of me?:
The Ice Dance – Danny Elfman
While the song doesn't directly answer my question, it is quite beautiful, and so it probably means that my friends think that I'm a beautiful person (after all, the whole world appears to see me that way). That, or they think I'm an icy person, but a great dancer.

Do people secretly lust after me?:
If I Were a Rich Man – Fiddler on the Roof
Aha! I knew it! The ladies (and I suppose the odd fellow) doesn't lust after me, but rather what's in my back pocket (I'm talking about my wallet, you pervert!). I guess the way to a ladies heart is through the jewelry section at Sears.

...I kid, ladies, I kid.

How can I make myself happy?
Mission Impossible Theme

What should I do with my life?:
Angels We Have Heard on High – Manheim Steamroller
What the hell does it matter! It's apparently impossible for me to be happy, so it's irrelevant for me to do anything with my life! I...wait! What's that music! In the distance! It sounds angels singing, high high above. I hear them! They're sweetly singing o'er the plains! And the mountains, the mountains are singing in reply, echoing their joyous strains! Gloria! Gloria! In excelsis Deo! That's it! That's it! I shall bring tidings of a newborn king to the world! That is what I must do with my life! Hallelujah!

Will I ever have children?:
Yoda and the Younglings – John Williams (Star Wars, Episode II)
You know, I didn't even listen to the song. The title just says it all. Some of these "answers" are creepy in their relevance. But, apparently, I will be a Yoda-like figure for my children.

"To you room, you must go! And an allowance, no longer you will receive."

It's a nice song, anyway.

What is some good advice for me?:
Blessed to Be a Witness – Ben Harper
Hmm, I think this is pretty good advice. Half this song is just the phrase "I am blessed" over and over. My guess? The advice is that I should recognize how blessed I am. As I said, good advice.

How will I be remembered?:
Killer Wants to go to College – Paul Simon
O_o This doesn't bode well...

What is my signature dancing song?:
Are You Ready? – Johnny Clegg
Actually, you can dance pretty well to this song (well, some parts of it, at least). It even tells you to dance the "Oshakati Mamba" (after crossing yourself twice).

What do I think my current theme song is?:
The Handshake – Bad Religion
Huh, this is a song condemning the modern world, in particular the business aspects of it. Fairly ironic, considering...well, you know.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?:
Snagglepuss Theme Song
Seriously? This is what you think my song is? It would only be appropriate if I were some really short, fat guy in a suit with a monocle and top hat, and continually tipped my hat to everyone as I walked, while in my other hand I raised some sort of scepter or cane in beat with the music.

What song will play at my funeral?:
I Miss You – Blink 182
Remember what I said about some of the songs being so relevant it's scary? Perfect example (in title, at least). It's actually about missing some love one who's abandoned you, but you could tweak it to mean a dead person. In particular, that "shadow in the background of the morgue" line could literally be talking about a poltergeist of some sort.

What type of men/women do you like?:
Streamline – System of a Down
Hmm...if I were to guess, I would say this song is about not being there for your significant other. So, I suppose I like women (yes, women) who I can be there for (and, I suppose, are there for me. This is a two-way relationship, sweetheart!).

What is my day going to be like?:
Mrs. Jesus – Tori Amos
Sooo......I am going to spend the day having deep religious contemplations? Or am I literally going to meet a lady named "Mrs. Jesus"? Maybe she can keep me from becoming a killer (who subsequently wants to go to college).

And with that, this version of the soundtrack for "Andrew Schnorr: The Musical" is complete. So, what have I learned? Well, making myself happy is impossible, despite the fact that I am blessed. This is because I secretly hate my own field of study, and am never there for the ladies, who don't lust for anything but my money. This leads me to become a killer who wears a top hat and a monocle who rescues Princess Leia from Nazis and then dances with her in a poverty-stricken area. I then meet Mrs. Jesus, who turns me from my life of crime and leads me to preach the good news of Christmas. Because of this, and despite my past transgressions, everyone in the world thinks great things of me (except for my friends, who consider me to have an icy personality). In the end, people will miss me when I die.

...And somewhere along the way, I have kids. Go figure.


Anonymous said...

"How bizarre..."

Anonymous said...

I've been...referenced.

Seriously, this is more odder than what I usually get. I agree, these are probably amongst the best questionnaries - too bad there's not too many of them these days.

-Comrade Chavez