I wanted to do something a little different today. So I decided I'd let you watch me play a bad video game.
Seriously.
...Hey, come back!
This is actually something I've wanted to do for a while. On my primary video game-related website, Kotaku (who've I've referenced before) there is this one writer named Mike Fahey who has an occasional feature called "Fahey Talks at the Game" in which he plays a game (usually a bad one) and...talks at it. As though you're in the room with him. Aww... If you want a sample, I think the best of the bunch are the ones for Ninjabread Man and especially Nancy Drew - The White Wolf of Icicle Creek.
As I said, I'd like to do something similar. Hence, I am debuting my own occasional feature entitled "Andrew Talks to the Game" (notice my creative lawsuit avoidance?). Unfortunately, I don't have a full on camcorder like Fahey does, and my digital camera can't focus on words worth a hoot, so I'm reduced to using my cell phone camera. It does an admirable job, for what it's worth. Still, as it's my first time doing this, I'm still a little rusty.
So, if you have a good 20 minutes and enjoy the sound of my voice, give it a go. If, on the other hand, you got sick while watching Cloverfield...best pass this one up.
(Let me know what you think in the comments. I have a few ideas for future games, but I'm also willing to take requests.)
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
A Tale of a Curious Egg
The Curious Egg - A Tale by Andrew Schnorr
Once upon a time, there was a hardboiled egg (without shell, of course). However, this egg was quite curious. Indeed, it wasn't normal at all. Instead of being milky white in color, it bore a splotchy design of blues, greens, and light purples.
One day, a most worthy and handsome man came across the egg.
So the dashing man, risking life and limb, bravely took up the egg and placed it within mouth (which had tasted the lips of many maidens throughout the land).
And, eyes closed in anticipation, he bit down, not knowing whether he would live through the night. His pearly-white teeth pierced through the soft flesh of the egg, cutting down straight to its core. There was no turning back now.Once the top of the curious egg was in his mouth...
The virile man recoiled in horror. "Oh, horror of horror!" screamed the horrible man, "This curious egg has become the odd color because it has become a vessel of poison. Woe is me, for now I die!"
But then the valiant man stopped. He was not dead. And he realized that the curious egg did not, indeed, taste like poison. Indeed, it tasted just like a normal egg."You know, despite the odd color, the taste of this curious egg is quite good. Indeed, it is a good egg! But there are still unanswered questions. If, for all intents and purposes, this is a normal egg, why would it have a coloring so nonconforming to the standard of eggs?"
...Looking somewhat to the left, the brilliant man saw his answer.
Blueberries! Dozens and dozens of blueberries, sitting within a lunch tray. Sitting within a pool of their own colorful juice.
And so, the universally-loved man accepted the curious egg for what it was. He finished eating the egg. It was delicious. And he lived happily ever after!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
So, Andrew, What's Going On With You?
That's a fair question, title bar. While I'm still on a tight schedule, I thought I'd give a few updates as to what's going on in my real life:
School:
This has been a little bit of a rough-and-tumble semester for me. I'm having a somewhat rockier-than-normal time in my Accounting class. It's not like I'm failing; I'm just...average. Which is fine in the long run, because I have no interest in ever pursuing accounting at this point. Still, it's definitely not going to help my GPA any. So that's no good.
My economics class is a strange creature. I did very well (well above the median) on our only midterm, but I've struggled with about half the homework assignments (the other half were no issue). The main problem with the homework, I think, is that we're never taught the material. It's not in the book, it's not in the lectures; hell, it's not even online! Hence, you need to be either exceptional at lateral thinking, or spend at least 6 hours on a single homework assignment. Blech.
I love my consumer behavior class. Looooove it! It's just fascinating stuff. And I'm good with class participation. I'm known by some people as "the guy that can divine [yes, they actually said 'divine'] all the right answers." No problems, save that we have to do group projects, and I'm in a group with a bunch of people who don't care about the class (and don't know how to write, apparently).
And the rest: I only need 4 out of a possible 40 points in my final module of personal finance. And my Star Wars DeCal is going...I...uh...I'm sorry, I must have something in my eye.
Internships:
Ain't gonna happen at this point. Even if I found a summer job, working it will be difficult, for reasons I'll explain later.
Now, I'll be honest. While nobody may have been able to tell (because nobody can ever tell), I've actually been in a very irritable, bitter mood for the last couple weeks. It's gotten better, but hasn't completely passed. I am going to hazard a guess and say that part of me is still shaken up about the whole internship thing. For a few reasons. First, I've been thinking that I was no longer needed by the time I was interviewed. Thinking back on my interviews, they were pleasant...perhaps too pleasant. There was never any challenge questions to them. No case questions, no nothing. Just pleasantries. So whose to say that it wasn't a foregone conclusion as I walked in the door.
The second issue is just a feeling of...I don't know, failure, I suppose. Maybe this is just a version of me going into a hissy fit when things don't go my way. A quiet, brooding hissy fit. Definitely something to work on. I guess it may just be the achiever in me. I like to have things to show for long periods of effort.
But anyway, I think I may be turning over a new leaf in that regard. While I nominally said in the beginning, "I have accepted the fact that I don't have an internship," I think I may actually have accepted it at this point. And this is due, in part, to...
Summer Sessions:
...My insurance plan. Basically, I decided to apply as a Community Coordinator for the Summer Sessions. It's somewhat like an RA's superior, but also is in charge of Security Monitors. So it will be useful for my job next year. I will be...oh, what? I didn't explain that yet?
My Job Next Year:
So, I got accepted as a Security Coordinator for the 2008-2009 academic year. This is a live-out position, so I don't get free room and board, but I do get paid an hourly wage of $14.50, so that's something. Basically, I'm in charge of all the Security Monitors, who are the people who sit at the front desks of all the buildings and swipe people in.
...Except where I was assigned.
So, it's back to good ol' Clark Kerr Campus for me! I'm not living there of course, and my interaction there will be somewhat limited, but still! Now, at CKC, the SM job is a bit different. Instead of having one in each building (and me being in charge of three buildings), there is one for the entire unit. That means they don't have to swipe people in or be trained for anything like that. They just need to sit there until someone needs something from the front desk. Oh, and the shifts are an hour shorter, so the second shift for the night ends at 1am, not 3am. Oh, and since there's only one booth, there are a total of 14 shifts to have covered each week, not 42.
So, for both the SMs and the SC (me), it's a much easier job.
So I got that going for me. However, it's pretty hectic right now, as we need to hire people. In fact, my weekend is swamped with interviews. Then we have training next weekend. It's definitely filling up my schedule. Good thing I get paid for everything I do relating to it!
So, that brings us back to...
Summer Sessions:
So I, along with someone else, was chosen to be a Community Coordinator for the summer. This is kind of like an SC with added responsibilities, though when there are two people, you can divvy them up somewhat.
I had a pretty good feeling I was going to get the position during the interview, as I was told that there were 2 open slots and 4 applicants, and later that I knew more about "the system" than did the RD I would be working with. (I'm kind of known around the upper management in the Office of Student Development for being an old hand by now.)
So, I'll be in Berkeley over the summer (I never leave)!
To better utilize my time here, I decided to enroll in classes for the first six weeks of summer. One class, specifically. It's in a major I've never heard of: New Media. It's on Interactivity. More specifically, it's on how technology has change interactions with each other, with the world, and with ourselves. Here's a flyer, and the syllabus, so you can get a general idea. I figured that the topic would actually be quite relevant to marketing, so it would be a good idea to take it.
Doing so, though, puts me in an especially interesting situation. I'll talk more about it later, but the general overview is this: if I wanted to, I can graduate in December.
I'll be learning more about exactly how everything's going to work out, so stay tuned!
Losing Weight:
So, I measure myself yesterday, and I weigh 176.6 pounds, that's a scant 1.6 pounds aways from my main target of 175. To put this into perspective, I'm pretty sure I haven't weighed this much since junior high or earlier, when I was a bit shorter. Essentially, I'm in the best shape of my life. Haven't been working on muscles; that's stage two (even so, I still have more than I used to). I think I'm going to take my official "After" pictures once I pass th 175 mark (who knows; it may even be next week).
Oh, and I have an enormous ribcage. That, and other observations, at a later time.
RA Life:
I'm a genius in some respects. Under normal circumstances, I would have anywhere from 14-18 days of duty in a timespan of two months, which can take its toll on you. Through wise negotiation and being the guy that helps out the needy when nobody else does (and nobody ever does), I've managed to make it so that for the months of April and May, I have a combined total of 6 days of duty. :D
Still, I've hit my RA wall a while back. It's time to pass the mantle onto one of my residents, who's going to be an RA next year at Unit 2 (and during the summer, to boot). Actually, I'll let him make his own mantle; mine's a bit faded at this point.
Extracurricular:
I'm being interviewed today for a position as Creative Committee Director in the Undergraduate Marketing Association. (Yes, this is the same day I am also interviewing others.) I'm a good fit for the position, particularly if I'm one of two co-directors, but if I don't get it, oh well. The way I participate in the organization and the way I hobnob with the current officers, you'd think I was already one.
...And that's all I can think of now. Which is good, because I have to go to bed. Goodnight!
School:
This has been a little bit of a rough-and-tumble semester for me. I'm having a somewhat rockier-than-normal time in my Accounting class. It's not like I'm failing; I'm just...average. Which is fine in the long run, because I have no interest in ever pursuing accounting at this point. Still, it's definitely not going to help my GPA any. So that's no good.
My economics class is a strange creature. I did very well (well above the median) on our only midterm, but I've struggled with about half the homework assignments (the other half were no issue). The main problem with the homework, I think, is that we're never taught the material. It's not in the book, it's not in the lectures; hell, it's not even online! Hence, you need to be either exceptional at lateral thinking, or spend at least 6 hours on a single homework assignment. Blech.
I love my consumer behavior class. Looooove it! It's just fascinating stuff. And I'm good with class participation. I'm known by some people as "the guy that can divine [yes, they actually said 'divine'] all the right answers." No problems, save that we have to do group projects, and I'm in a group with a bunch of people who don't care about the class (and don't know how to write, apparently).
And the rest: I only need 4 out of a possible 40 points in my final module of personal finance. And my Star Wars DeCal is going...I...uh...I'm sorry, I must have something in my eye.
Internships:
Ain't gonna happen at this point. Even if I found a summer job, working it will be difficult, for reasons I'll explain later.
Now, I'll be honest. While nobody may have been able to tell (because nobody can ever tell), I've actually been in a very irritable, bitter mood for the last couple weeks. It's gotten better, but hasn't completely passed. I am going to hazard a guess and say that part of me is still shaken up about the whole internship thing. For a few reasons. First, I've been thinking that I was no longer needed by the time I was interviewed. Thinking back on my interviews, they were pleasant...perhaps too pleasant. There was never any challenge questions to them. No case questions, no nothing. Just pleasantries. So whose to say that it wasn't a foregone conclusion as I walked in the door.
The second issue is just a feeling of...I don't know, failure, I suppose. Maybe this is just a version of me going into a hissy fit when things don't go my way. A quiet, brooding hissy fit. Definitely something to work on. I guess it may just be the achiever in me. I like to have things to show for long periods of effort.
But anyway, I think I may be turning over a new leaf in that regard. While I nominally said in the beginning, "I have accepted the fact that I don't have an internship," I think I may actually have accepted it at this point. And this is due, in part, to...
Summer Sessions:
...My insurance plan. Basically, I decided to apply as a Community Coordinator for the Summer Sessions. It's somewhat like an RA's superior, but also is in charge of Security Monitors. So it will be useful for my job next year. I will be...oh, what? I didn't explain that yet?
My Job Next Year:
So, I got accepted as a Security Coordinator for the 2008-2009 academic year. This is a live-out position, so I don't get free room and board, but I do get paid an hourly wage of $14.50, so that's something. Basically, I'm in charge of all the Security Monitors, who are the people who sit at the front desks of all the buildings and swipe people in.
...Except where I was assigned.
So, it's back to good ol' Clark Kerr Campus for me! I'm not living there of course, and my interaction there will be somewhat limited, but still! Now, at CKC, the SM job is a bit different. Instead of having one in each building (and me being in charge of three buildings), there is one for the entire unit. That means they don't have to swipe people in or be trained for anything like that. They just need to sit there until someone needs something from the front desk. Oh, and the shifts are an hour shorter, so the second shift for the night ends at 1am, not 3am. Oh, and since there's only one booth, there are a total of 14 shifts to have covered each week, not 42.
So, for both the SMs and the SC (me), it's a much easier job.
So I got that going for me. However, it's pretty hectic right now, as we need to hire people. In fact, my weekend is swamped with interviews. Then we have training next weekend. It's definitely filling up my schedule. Good thing I get paid for everything I do relating to it!
So, that brings us back to...
Summer Sessions:
So I, along with someone else, was chosen to be a Community Coordinator for the summer. This is kind of like an SC with added responsibilities, though when there are two people, you can divvy them up somewhat.
I had a pretty good feeling I was going to get the position during the interview, as I was told that there were 2 open slots and 4 applicants, and later that I knew more about "the system" than did the RD I would be working with. (I'm kind of known around the upper management in the Office of Student Development for being an old hand by now.)
So, I'll be in Berkeley over the summer (I never leave)!
To better utilize my time here, I decided to enroll in classes for the first six weeks of summer. One class, specifically. It's in a major I've never heard of: New Media. It's on Interactivity. More specifically, it's on how technology has change interactions with each other, with the world, and with ourselves. Here's a flyer, and the syllabus, so you can get a general idea. I figured that the topic would actually be quite relevant to marketing, so it would be a good idea to take it.
Doing so, though, puts me in an especially interesting situation. I'll talk more about it later, but the general overview is this: if I wanted to, I can graduate in December.
I'll be learning more about exactly how everything's going to work out, so stay tuned!
Losing Weight:
So, I measure myself yesterday, and I weigh 176.6 pounds, that's a scant 1.6 pounds aways from my main target of 175. To put this into perspective, I'm pretty sure I haven't weighed this much since junior high or earlier, when I was a bit shorter. Essentially, I'm in the best shape of my life. Haven't been working on muscles; that's stage two (even so, I still have more than I used to). I think I'm going to take my official "After" pictures once I pass th 175 mark (who knows; it may even be next week).
Oh, and I have an enormous ribcage. That, and other observations, at a later time.
RA Life:
I'm a genius in some respects. Under normal circumstances, I would have anywhere from 14-18 days of duty in a timespan of two months, which can take its toll on you. Through wise negotiation and being the guy that helps out the needy when nobody else does (and nobody ever does), I've managed to make it so that for the months of April and May, I have a combined total of 6 days of duty. :D
Still, I've hit my RA wall a while back. It's time to pass the mantle onto one of my residents, who's going to be an RA next year at Unit 2 (and during the summer, to boot). Actually, I'll let him make his own mantle; mine's a bit faded at this point.
Extracurricular:
I'm being interviewed today for a position as Creative Committee Director in the Undergraduate Marketing Association. (Yes, this is the same day I am also interviewing others.) I'm a good fit for the position, particularly if I'm one of two co-directors, but if I don't get it, oh well. The way I participate in the organization and the way I hobnob with the current officers, you'd think I was already one.
...And that's all I can think of now. Which is good, because I have to go to bed. Goodnight!
Friday, April 25, 2008
You Know The Internet Has Corrupted You...
When you can see this...
...and turn it into THIS!!!
(Note: No, I didn't just make that today; I've had it for a while. Had I the time to actually make something like that, I would use it to write a real post instead of just filler. Hi-larious filler, but filler nonetheless.)
...and turn it into THIS!!!
(Note: No, I didn't just make that today; I've had it for a while. Had I the time to actually make something like that, I would use it to write a real post instead of just filler. Hi-larious filler, but filler nonetheless.)
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
A Slightly-Dramatized Conversation In the Dining Common
My Brain: "Let's see, that's one part chocolate milk and two parts nonfat milk. This is going to be a delicious desert!"
Girl: "Excuse me."
Me: "Yes."
Girl: "Can I ask you a quick question?"
My Brain: "Ah, she's probably going to ask about my curious milk-drinking habits."
Girl: "Do you know where I can buy some marijuana around here?"
My Brain: "..."
Me: "..."
Girl: "Do you have any on you?"
Me: "...N, no."
Girl: "Oh, okay." *Walks away.*
Me: "..."
My Brain: "You idiot! You should have asked for her ID!"
Me: "It's not a hall policy to ask where pot can be bought."
My Brain: "Well, you should have at least played along until you got her information!"
Me: "Why?"
My Brain: "So you can set up a sting operation with whoever her RA is!"
Me: "What if she doesn't smoke it in the hall?"
My Brain: "Don't be dense!"
Guy at the Pasta Station: "....."
Me: "......Okay, one part chocolate, two parts nonfat."
Girl: "Excuse me."
Me: "Yes."
Girl: "Can I ask you a quick question?"
My Brain: "Ah, she's probably going to ask about my curious milk-drinking habits."
Girl: "Do you know where I can buy some marijuana around here?"
My Brain: "..."
Me: "..."
Girl: "Do you have any on you?"
Me: "...N, no."
Girl: "Oh, okay." *Walks away.*
Me: "..."
My Brain: "You idiot! You should have asked for her ID!"
Me: "It's not a hall policy to ask where pot can be bought."
My Brain: "Well, you should have at least played along until you got her information!"
Me: "Why?"
My Brain: "So you can set up a sting operation with whoever her RA is!"
Me: "What if she doesn't smoke it in the hall?"
My Brain: "Don't be dense!"
Guy at the Pasta Station: "....."
Me: "......Okay, one part chocolate, two parts nonfat."
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Big Girls Don't Fry...
Hey! Remember me? I'm still alive, and it looks like my death schedule may be easing up. So, more than likely, by the time you're reading this, I'll still be sleeping (regardless of what time/day it is).
To make up for it, I'm going to give you a fun topic:
Fried foods!
Now, as I mentioned a while back, I get Late Night about once a week. I'm still figuring out what the prime meal - that is, best food with fewest regrets - is.
I'll tell you one thing that's not the prime meal: chicken strips and fries. And I'll extrapolate a bit further and just say it's the chicken strips. I've had chicken strips and fries about twice this semester, and both times I felt a simultaneous desire to throw up and do jumping jacks. Seriously, I can't eat them any more without feeling really sick.
And this is no small task. I'll be honest: this time last year, I'd literally eat chicken strips and fries (with ranch dip) every single day (or at the least, every other day) for lunch. So, this is a pretty sizable turnaround.
So, at this point, I may be past my fried phase (with the ironic exception of fries, though I do eat fewer of them than before).
However!
That does not mean that I don't get a kick out of seeing the world of all things fried. Yes, should you ever go to a county - perhaps even a state - fair, you'll be able to see, amongst the mullets and empty cans of Bud Light, plenty of booths touting vats of gallons and gallons of bubbling oil. And Lord knows, people are willing to try, er, fry anything.
Perchance, have you heard of any of the following?
Fried Snickers
Fried Mars Bar
Fried Ice Cream
Fried Twinkies
Fried Coca-Cola
But why stop there? There's an entire world of edibles just waiting to be covered in batter and boiled in liquid fat!
Take, for example, Frank Sodolak of Snook, Texas. Sir Sodolak is a man's man. He knows the score, and he's not afraid to go the distance to achieve greatness. For him, why settle with just pan-frying your bacon? That will never do! Instead, Sir Sodolak does what any good American does and takes it to the next level...with cream gravy!
(I'm not sure which part I enjoyed more: the fact that the menu has a cigarette ad, the woman who says it needs more salt, or the fact that a troop of boy scouts could fashion tents out of the shirts of any of the people in that video.)
So, that's chicken fried bacon. Now, while we've all cut two years off our life just by watching that video, at least we can rest assured that it doesn't get any worse than that.
.......Right?
Guys?
Oh...
Oh, no!
Oh, GOD!
DEAR GOD, NO!!!
To make up for it, I'm going to give you a fun topic:
Fried foods!
Now, as I mentioned a while back, I get Late Night about once a week. I'm still figuring out what the prime meal - that is, best food with fewest regrets - is.
I'll tell you one thing that's not the prime meal: chicken strips and fries. And I'll extrapolate a bit further and just say it's the chicken strips. I've had chicken strips and fries about twice this semester, and both times I felt a simultaneous desire to throw up and do jumping jacks. Seriously, I can't eat them any more without feeling really sick.
And this is no small task. I'll be honest: this time last year, I'd literally eat chicken strips and fries (with ranch dip) every single day (or at the least, every other day) for lunch. So, this is a pretty sizable turnaround.
So, at this point, I may be past my fried phase (with the ironic exception of fries, though I do eat fewer of them than before).
However!
That does not mean that I don't get a kick out of seeing the world of all things fried. Yes, should you ever go to a county - perhaps even a state - fair, you'll be able to see, amongst the mullets and empty cans of Bud Light, plenty of booths touting vats of gallons and gallons of bubbling oil. And Lord knows, people are willing to try, er, fry anything.
Perchance, have you heard of any of the following?
Fried Snickers
Fried Mars Bar
Fried Ice Cream
Fried Twinkies
Fried Coca-Cola
But why stop there? There's an entire world of edibles just waiting to be covered in batter and boiled in liquid fat!
Take, for example, Frank Sodolak of Snook, Texas. Sir Sodolak is a man's man. He knows the score, and he's not afraid to go the distance to achieve greatness. For him, why settle with just pan-frying your bacon? That will never do! Instead, Sir Sodolak does what any good American does and takes it to the next level...with cream gravy!
(I'm not sure which part I enjoyed more: the fact that the menu has a cigarette ad, the woman who says it needs more salt, or the fact that a troop of boy scouts could fashion tents out of the shirts of any of the people in that video.)
So, that's chicken fried bacon. Now, while we've all cut two years off our life just by watching that video, at least we can rest assured that it doesn't get any worse than that.
.......Right?
Guys?
Oh...
Oh, no!
Oh, GOD!
DEAR GOD, NO!!!
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