Monday, April 28, 2008

A Tale of a Curious Egg

The Curious Egg - A Tale by Andrew Schnorr

Once upon a time, there was a hardboiled egg (without shell, of course). However, this egg was quite curious. Indeed, it wasn't normal at all. Instead of being milky white in color, it bore a splotchy design of blues, greens, and light purples.

One day, a most worthy and handsome man came across the egg.

"What a curious egg," he said, "Is it of an odd color because there is something wrong with it, or has this egg simply decided that it wishes to be different from the rank and file eggs of this world. If I were to eat this egg, would the taste be as off as the coloring?"

So the dashing man, risking life and limb, bravely took up the egg and placed it within mouth (which had tasted the lips of many maidens throughout the land).

And, eyes closed in anticipation, he bit down, not knowing whether he would live through the night. His pearly-white teeth pierced through the soft flesh of the egg, cutting down straight to its core. There was no turning back now.

Once the top of the curious egg was in his mouth...


The virile man recoiled in horror. "Oh, horror of horror!" screamed the horrible man, "This curious egg has become the odd color because it has become a vessel of poison. Woe is me, for now I die!"

But then the valiant man stopped. He was not dead. And he realized that the curious egg did not, indeed, taste like poison. Indeed, it tasted just like a normal egg.

"You know, despite the odd color, the taste of this curious egg is quite good. Indeed, it is a good egg! But there are still unanswered questions. If, for all intents and purposes, this is a normal egg, why would it have a coloring so nonconforming to the standard of eggs?"

...Looking somewhat to the left, the brilliant man saw his answer.

Blueberries! Dozens and dozens of blueberries, sitting within a lunch tray. Sitting within a pool of their own colorful juice.

"Of course! The egg was not oddly-colored under its own free will. It was been placed on top of these juicy, juicy blueberries, and the flesh of the egg absorbed some of that color! What a splendid solution!"

And so, the universally-loved man accepted the curious egg for what it was. He finished eating the egg. It was delicious. And he lived happily ever after!



Anonymous said...

The Brothers Grimm couldn't have come up with a better story!

"Simply Superb!" Newsweek

"I could stop reading until the end!"
Rolling Stone

"A Masterpiece!" The Economist

"Two Thumbs Up!" Roeper & Whoever

Anonymous said...

I see you write self aggrandizing comedy now.

"One day, a most worthy and handsome man came across the egg."