Complete and Utter Vanity (Apologies to Your Browser Speed)

I like to think that my computer, and all my documents are pretty organized. For example, for pictures that were taken this school year in Berkeley, I have a folder within "My Pictures" called "Berkeley Year Three." In this folder, I have a folder for every month of the year (and a few for things that transcend beyond one month or are considered "exceptional").

The "March 2008" folder has a lot of pictures in it. A LOT.

I'm not sure why. I think it may be a combination of a bit of (relative) free time and...okay, I don't know what the other part of the combination could be. I've just been inspired to take a lot of picture. Of course, about 98% of them are of me (+/- 2%). There's not much else to photograph when you're alone in your room. But I like to think that I can be interesting enough for more than one picture.

Also, I like to Photoshop pictures of myself.

So, I decided to show off some of these pictures (a small fraction of them, but still what I would consider a good representation), as well as some of the Photoshop products.

So, let's get started! (Oh, and if your computer crashed trying to load this page, get a better computer! It's nowhere near as bad as during the Comic-Con days.)

We'll start out with one of the rarest pictures you'll ever see. I've only taken one picture of me like this, and I don't plan on doing so again. This is a side of me that most people never see. However, it was late at night, and I decided that perhaps, maybe, I should take a single picture of myself...wearing glasses.

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There, I hope you enjoyed my restricted-vision self. That may be the only time you see me wearing glasses in a picture.

And next, we had a bunch of shots I decided to take one night. On said night, I noticed that a few locks of my hair were down, so I decided to do some "pretty boy" shots; maybe send them in to be a part of a gang, get myself a nickname like "Two-Bit" or "Soda-Pop". Or "Pretty-Boy." It's all good.

As I said, this is but a small fraction of the pictures taken, but I can assure that in most of them, I am not looking toward the camera. It seems to be a lot more mysterious. You can just imagine that when someone's not looking at the camera, they're saying something like "Yeah, whatever," or the ever-popular "..."

I've always been a fan or pointing toward the camera. I find the resulting pictures seem a little more...interactive than most.

This can either be a picture portraying someone's emotional downfall, or some guy saying, "Oh, God, what did I eat last night?"

I also decided to do a few close-up shots. You'll notice I'm still not looking at the camera.

This one was actually a semi-accidental shot, believe it or not. My camera was set up on a timer, and right before this one took, I was scratching my eyebrow area. And yet, to anyone who sees it, it appears to be some sort of emotive portrait picture.

Due to my larger-than-average pupil size, I tend to have more red-eye issues than your normal workaday average Joe. So often, I'll have to use Photoshop just to make myself look a smidgen less demon-like. But for some reason, I thought this picture worked pretty well as having one red eye and one black one. Almost gives a Terminator feel to the whole thing.

Speaking of Photoshop, let's take a look at what I did with a couple of pictures.

So, here's the original picture. Personally, I feel it would have looked better had I my thumbs in my pockets, but you only have a split two seconds to figure out what you're going to do before the camera flashes. In any event, I thought it would work we..

One thing I like to do on Photoshop is to remove the somewhat mundane background of my bedroom and replace it with something a bit more exciting. More often than not, I'll choose a city at night. I don't know, something about it just screams "interesting." However, to do this, you need to make sure that the lighting isn't as intense on yourself. Otherwise, it just looks awkward.

While I really like the way this looks it was, truth be told, accidental. (Like I've said before, the best way to learn on Photoshop is just to experiment.) This was done by applying the "Satin" blending option to the layer with my picture on it, and having the Mode be "Linear Burn". Somehow it turned into this, and I really liked it.

In fact, I liked it so much that this is now my desktop background. (Obviously, at a higher resolution.) It's a pretty kickass desktop, if I do say so myself.

Also, one of the things I tend to to do is add some random lines to pictures, to give it even more atmosphere. This is the "quote" for this picture. Also, you may notice this is quite brighter than the previous two. That's because it was meant to be put on my MySpace/Facebook accounts, and unless you brightened it a bit, it just looked like a black box. As is, I think it looks like it could be the poster for some Jet Li movie (in which Jet Li doesn't appear).

So, here's the second Photoshop project on here. For a while now, I've wanted to have a picture in which I'm holding fire or a fireball. My early (as in, 2005) attempts at creating fire on Photoshop were...well, lame. However, the resources of the Internet are boundless, and I was able to find someone who offers a tutorial on creating fire, as well as a few brushes to help you out. To give proper credit, here is their website. While some may consider using a special brush to be cheating, I don't. After all, Photoshop is meant to make things easier. Plus, in order to make really realistic-looking fire, there's quite a few additional steps, and there are options for customizations all along the way. So, let's take a look.

Here's the original picture. Note that I didn't remove my red-eye. I figured that if I'm going to be holding fire, it would actually be more appropriate to keep it. There are a few different "holding" poses I had, but I thought this one was the best, if only for the intensity of my face.

And here's what it looks like after the edits. Note a few things I did. First, I put a little bit of an orange glow to the face, to demonstrate a new lighting source (it's not perfect, but I think it works). I also cut out my upwards-pointing fingers and repasted them over the flames to make it less obvious that the fire was just pasted on the hands. I won't show you a comparison, but trust me, it make the illusion work out a lot better. Also, I'm not entirely happy with the rising smoke. Had I the chance to do that part over, I think I'd add some difference clouds to it.

And of course, after doing this, I decided to put on some Photoshop filters. Why? Because I'm a filter whore, that's why. It's one of my weaknesses, I suppose; a temptation I can't resist. What's interesting is that each filter will completely change the feeling of a picture. I've included four different pictures and you'll notice that each one has a different "quote" that I think fits with the feel of the piece.

Oh, and each of the pictures are in front of a dark city. Because I'm predictable.

With this one, I thought the eyes really stood out, and that the expression was a bit pout-ier than normal. To me, this kind of looked like some sort of lost soul. So I went with that.

Interestingly, this is the only one of my filtered pictures that's in color, possibly because most of the colored filters just make the picture look messy. This one, however, I felt really added to it. Of all the ones, I think the expression is the most neutral, and yet still quite mysterious and deep. One of those "hero or villain" ambiguities. I would say that this one is my favorite. (I also was tickled by my own double-entendre use of "light".)

This one came out looking like some sort of new-age demon. The fire doesn't even look like fire; it looks like some sort of unholy darkness. Anyway, I apologize for the somewhat weak rhyme, but remember, I'm making this up as I go along.

This one looks like it could be some devil-may-care protagonist who follows his own rules. I always find that when I use this filter ("Torn Edges", if you're curious), my pupils always stand out like a freight train.

So that's my Photoshop work. I only wish I wasn't so interested in it that it keeps me up at night, brushing and clicking away. Oh, well, at least something comes out of it.

And, now, I'll end with another picture of my hair sticking up. Because it's fun seeing how tall my hair can get!

...Okay, I'm done.

Picking Up the Pieces...

True story:

I was recently contacted by a fellow Haas student. I never really met the guy, but I have passed by him a few times. (He probably only knew my name through looking in the student directory.) Anyway, his message was very direct:

"i see you around haas. would you happen to be a pua?"

Now, don't be ashamed if you don't know what a PUA is. I didn't, and I was being asked if I was one (that might give you an idea as to the answer). However, I looked it up, and apparently it stands for "Pickup Artist," which, for those of you too lazy to click the link, is "a term used to describe a man who is skilled in meeting, attracting, and seducing women."

Think about that for a second.

There's plenty of guys at Haas that this guy could have contacted. And, unless he contacted them all (a possibility, but for some reason I doubt it), I was singled out as one of those most likely to be a man skilled in the art of seduction.

I'll be honest, I was flattered.

So, I responded and had to deny the suggestion. However, I didn't want to say something along the lines of "I haven't touched a woman's hand in three years!" (not true; I've shaken many female hands), so I just responded as such:

Haha. No, not in any official capacity. Why, do you need some help?

And note that "in any official capacity" is code for "at all."

As it turned out, the guy was looking for people to join his "sarge group." Again, I had to look that up, but apparently, it's a group that's, when it comes down to it, is about picking up chicks.

After doing a little research, I figured that he may have pegged me for a PUA because of my relatively eccentric dress style. Thing is, there's some famous guy on VH1 named "Mystery" who dresses extremely eccentrically, but I guess it works for him. I prefer to think it's more because of my charisma and non-drunken swagger, but whatever.

In the end, I had to deny the guy's offer (lest the terrible truth be revealed), but thanked him. And I really did mean it. I felt what I assume a middle-aged woman feels when she's asked for her ID. Yes, he was mistaken, but it's a mistake in my ego's favor.

Now for something a little Risqué...

As I stated in my previous post, I had a couple of friends stay over at my place for a couple days. I was expected to do some basic things with them: go out to lunch, show them around campus, watch a movie or two, etc.

So imagine my surprise when they ask me if I have a copy of Risk with me.

As it turns out, I did. I only keep one board game in my current room at all times, and that game is Risk. It is, without doubt, my favorite board game of all time. And so when someone comes over to my home and asks me to play...well, my eyes light up a little bit, I can tell you that.

And now, a few tidbits on Risk.

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They say that a favorite board game can say a lot about a person....Actually, no one has ever said that (at least, not as far as Google can tell me), but I certainly believe it to be true, at least to an extent. Now, keep in mind that I don't feel that someone who loves Sorry is inherently apologetic. But, considering that Risk is my favorite board game with Monopoly coming in second, I can spot a few common themes:
-Long, drawn-out games.
-Ruling over others (financially or territorially).

It's the second one that I feel is key. You see, when since I was young, I have had megalomaniacal tendencies. Remember how I mentioned that I am a monarchist? Well, in the perfect monarchy, I am king. Perhaps being hooked on Pinky & the Brain didn't help. Neither did the "Hail Andrew!" salute instated in middle school by my peers. And, yeah, being called "God" in high school just exacerbated the situation. The point is, I want to rule over you. Risk provides me with the euphoria of conquest without the blood-stained clothing and war-crimes.

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When I play Risk, I play Risk. I like to say that I am one of the best Risk players I know. People often comment on how I will stare at a board for minutes at a time, contemplating whether or not I should weaken my defenses in Ukraine so that I can overtake Ural.

However, my strategy is different than most players. You see, most players play to win. I, on the other hand, play to ensure that another player loses. At the beginning of a game, I will usually pick a player at random (though I do have favored targets) and then make it my mission to clear the map of all their troops. At that point, a new player will be chosen at random, and the process continued.

And yet, for some reason, I often (not always, but often) end up winning anyway. It may be luck, but I like to think that it has to do with my focused game play, intelligent attacks, knowing when not to attack, and knowing how not to be attacked. Put together, these allow me to not only accomplish my initial goal, but to accomplish my secondary, tertiary, and (ultimately) final goals leading to victory.

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There are a few basic play styles and strategies in Risk:
1. The Blitzkrieg General: Try to expand and attack as quickly as possible along a single path, usually leaving your backside vulnerable, but giving you a large boost in reinforcements while depriving others of the same.
2. The Brooder: Do not attack for the first couple turns, favoring instead to build up armies in one or a few contiguous territories.
3. The Leonidas (Formerly called the "Whim-and-a-Prayer Player"): Attacking with everything, all the time. Even in the face of overwhelming odds, they will attack, hoping that the dice rolls are in their favor.
4. The Diplomat: The category I fall into. As the name implies, this relies heavily on diplomacy and keeping in close communications with your enemies companions. There are a few subcategories of this:
a) The Bargainer: "All I want is Siam. Give me Siam, and I'll let you have all of South America."
b) The Threatener: "You will stay away from my territories, or I will personally end your reign in Asia."
c) The Peacenik: "If you don't attack me for the next three turns, I won't attack you either."
d) The Deceiver: "Don't worry, if you move you troops away from Alaska, I promise I won't attack (heeheehee)."
e) The Ally: "We can help each other, you and I. Working together, we can destroy our friend over there.

I have elements of all of these subcategories except for The Deceiver. I am quite sure that in all the years I've played, I have never put-and-out stabbed anyone in the back. It's just bad policy that may work once, but as George W. Bush says, "Fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."

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I have a primary Risk group that I like to play with during vacations in Southern California; myself and three others. I personally four is the minimum number of players in order to enjoy a game to its fullest. We are all Diplomats, and it shows. At least three times on any one turn, one of us will point to another. They will then bring that player to another room to discuss the game and strategies and politics, as will the two remaining at the board. We tend to speak in very hushed voices, giving it a real feel of a cloak-and-dagger political movie.

When I talk to the others in these correspondences, I tend to speak in absolutes. "I can tell you now, attack him in the Western United States this turn. If you don't, he will come back and destroy you in all of your Canadian territories and weaken your position overall." I probably wouldn't speak with such authority if I didn't turn out to be right about 95% of the time. However, people are always distrustful, and so they won't always take my advice. I can't help but feel vindicated when my soothsaying proves correct.

Often, though, the games in this group end up in little teams forming. Such is the case when two of the players happen to be dating. This gives their bargaining process a little something extra. After all, they can offer each other things I can't - and won't - attempt.

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I even have created a principle based on Risk. It's been dubbed "The Madagascar Syndrome." The basis behind this has come from the many games I've played with my normal group. In it, we noticed something very peculiar. When there were multiple troops on the African island of Madagascar, they would all fall, with relatively little difficulty. However, if there was but a single troop on Madagascar, that troop would win an abnormally high number of battles. What's so special about Madagascar? Who knows, but it must be a nice place, for that troop to fight so hard for it. Hence, when any one troop on a territory wins more battles than the odds would predict, it is a case of the Madagascar Syndrome.

Now, I use the term "Madagascar Syndrome" in common usage. It's actually a very relevant term in gaming. I've noticed time and time again in Wii Boxing that I can beat down an opponent to their final health bar with relative ease, but goddammit, I can't finish them off before the bell rings. Have you ever played a fighting game in which you've beaten an opponent down to a tiny fraction of their life with little to no problem, but they come back and kill you before losing any more of that fraction? Congratulations, you're a victim of the Madagascar Syndrome.

Personally, one of the reasons I enjoy the concept of the Madagascar Syndrome (other than the fact that I created it) is that it just sounds good. "Madagascar Syndrome"...ahhh. I've made a promise to myself that I will write a book using it as the title. Here's a mock-up cover, even:

Keep in mind, I have no idea what the story would be, or how it would relate to the Madagascar Syndrome, but it will be good.

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In closing, Risk is cool!

Required Reading

I write a lot. A lot. But I'm sure you've already figured that out by looking at how small the scroll bar is on the right. Because many of the people reading this blog have not known me particularly long, I almost feel tempted to exploit that ignorance by posting things I've written elsewhere and claiming it as fresh and new.

I'm not that lazy, of course. However, I still believe that my previous works are of merit and do deserve to be looked at. After all, you can learn a lot about someone is through their writing. So I decided to create this post of "required reading." If you're going to bookmark only one of my posts, this should be it, because you may have to come back several times to read it all. Then again, that's why I'm posting this on a Friday Saturday morning; you'll have all weekend to look through it all, if you so choose.

So let's get started, shall we? What's on the syllabus?

Oh, of course. We should get started with The Tapping Wand.


As you can see by the name of the cover of this book, I am the author. No foolin'. There's a little bit of a story behind this. Originally, I wrote The Tapping Wand for a Sci-Fi/Fantasy short story contest. It was about 40 pages long, which I thought was fine, as the rules of the contest specified that the story had to be betwixt 15 and 50 pages. However, the part of the rules I neglected to read had an evil, evil hyphenated word: "Double-spaced". Suddenly, I was disqualified from the competition. However, people liked the story, and they told me I should have it published. So...I did. (It wasn't nearly as simple as that last statement made it seem.) I think it's a good story, so I like to shamelessly plug it whenever the opportunity arrises. You can get more information about the book by clicking the picture, and you can see that this isn't all an elaborate hoax by looking at the Amazon page for it.

Seriously, though, if you actually do have an interest in the book, I recommend you buy it directly from me. You won't pay tax or shipping, you'll get it right away, and I'll personally sign it (plus, I'll get more money that way).

Next on the agenda, we'll look at my blog on MySpace. I've utilized my MySpace blog much differently than I'm utilizing this one. First of all, the posts are much more sporadic, and as time went on, it focused much more on mixing photographs with words. Still, it represents a boatload of work hours, and it'd be nice for some of the older, forgotten posts to get another chance in the spotlight.

I warn you, unless you own a decent computer, don't open all of these at once. The bandwidth will melt your motherboard and make the Internet cry.

What's your ONN? : This was the first blog entry, and to be honest, it shows. I am still damn proud of my Official Nerd Number equation, but I definitely feel it needs tinkering. It is my dream to eventually make a website where you enter in the variables, and it will calculate your ONN for you. The hope would then be that users can then submit their own claculators and such, and you could post your answers, like with those quiz sites. It's still possible, especially now that I'm learning JavaScript and the like. Give it a shot, in any event, it's pretty fun.

The Obligatory Love Blog... : Hmm...this one is an interesting creature. I don't necessarily agree with it anymore, yet I don't necessarily disagree either. Where exactly do I now stand on the topic of love? That's a topic for another day, young one. For now, I'll just say that I give a good description of iambic pentameter.

Vietnamization! : I'm still really proud of this. You'd be amazed how difficult to make a song parody that works while being somewhat historically accurate.

Menagerie Overview : I have dozens, if not hundreds, of stories flying through my brain. Believe it or not, this can actually be a hindrance to actually finishing a story I start. But anyway, Menagerie is an idea I have for a graphic novel or short (50-episode) TV series. I decided to write a little overview to give people an idea of the show, and also to store down some of the information, so I wouldn't forget it later (me forgetting a story element is rare, but does occur). Just so you know, if there was ever a spin-off of this, it would star Cornelius Webster, who a friend of mine graciously illustrated for me.

MONARCH, Chapter One (Teaser) : I have three main genres that I like to write in (or some combination of the three) - Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Horror, and Comedy. MONARCH definitely falls under the latter category. I've actually finished quite a bit more than this, and if you'd definitely like to read more, just ask.

My Opprobrium - A Poem : Just a simple poem. Although I agree that not all poetry needs to rhyme, you just can't deny that it adds a special something.

Sapphire - A Dream : A MUST-READ! I love this short story to an unhealthy degree. It is, by a wide margin, one of the creepiest things I have ever written, but I think that adds to its charm. As I say, if you read only one thing on here, read this. And don't worry; it's just story...just a story.

A Story That Goes Nowhere : This one's a hoot. I laughed as I was rereading it. In order to get the full effect of this, you have to read it out loud in your best old person voice. This was directly inspired by (and in a couple places, copied from) Grampa Simpson, king of ramblers.

SAHS Prom 2005 - A Pictoral Recap : This was the first of my many photo-blogs. It's a little overview of my Senior Prom in high school. Back then, I thought it was a lot of work to make one of these (as you'll later see, it was nothing compared to what I'd later post). One thing to keep in mind that I was nominated as a potential Prom King that year. (You'll find out the results at the end). This look at the "good ol' days" is a nice way to see some of the people I went to high school with, and you get to see what I looked like before I grew a goatee. "How shocking!"

Phun With Photoshop!!! : This was one of the first times I really did any serious Photoshopping. At the time, though, I didn't actually use "Photoshop." I used "Adobe Photo Deluxe". That, combined with my novice skills, makes this seem much less impressive to me now than it did oh so long ago. My Photoshop skills have improved substantially since then (as you can tell from my background image), but everyone has to start somewhere. Something funny: although that last (non-edited) picture of me is god-ugly, it has been the source of a lot of great creepy looking Photoshops. Here's another example. You know, I really need to do a "Phun With Photoshop II" soon...

What it's like at the CKC! A Story in Pictures (and Words)... : This is probably not as interesting to people who know what Berkeley's like, but it's a fun read regardless. I also think that picture of me by Sather Gate needs to be a publicity photo for...well, something!

Two-Minute Photo-Shoot! Pre-Prom 2006 Edition!!! : This was more fun to do than it was to write. As you can tell by the title, this was all the pictures I could take in two minutes while wearing a nice suit (and sometimes having a fake cigar). If nothing else, this has a lot of really nice, quality pictures of me, which I always consider a blessing upon the world.

My Trip to Comic-Con 2006!!! HUGE BLOG!!! 100+ PICTURES!!! : This is a behemoth. An honest-to-goodness leviathan. If you copy and paste it to a Word document, it extends for 116 pages. This has it all. Superheroes! Hot alien women! Ghostbusters! Verbal jabs at Nicholas Cage! Pirates! Swords! Stan Lee! Muscles! Games! Lightsaber battles. And most importantly...me! It also includes pictures of my pride and joy of the convention, my Comic-Con notebook. It's one of my more fun blogs, or so I'm told.

My Halloween Costume - 2006 : For the past five years, my Halloween costumes have allowed me to be completely silent while wearing them. From 2002 - 2005, I dressed as a deliciously creepy mime, whose creepiness is exacerbated when combined with my pale, pudgy torso. This past Halloween, however, I went with something completely unique, and it got quite a positive response...from those who weren't freaked out of their mind. This also inspired my artist friend to illustrate "The Future". Oh, yeah, and I still think the last picture is funny.

What's Black and White and Read All Over? This B&W BLOG!!! : I still believe this is the best way to do artistic photo-editing if you don't have Photoshop. (If you do have the program, however, the equivalent filter is "Torn Edges".) This also explains where I got my little profile picture and why I like it so much.

And that's all the required reading I have for you. Feel free to look at the rest of my MySpace profile. You can also always Google my name (it works best if you use quotation marks). I have a little artwork on website, I write news articles for Effectu, a tech news site, and I appear in a few other places. Plenty of material for those cold rainy nights.

Happy reading!

Notice Anything...Different?

Quick update. I've done a little...redecorating. I hope you like it. I do. I feel it adds a personal touch which this blog so sorely needed. Now, no matter how far down you scroll, you won't forget whose blog you're reading! Huzzah!

Don't worry, there are more changes coming up...