30-Minute Therapy

All related videos have been taken off of YouTube. All that's left are parodies.

Any attempts to find episodes is either prohibitively expensive or questionably legal.

It airs on TV, but only once a week (and, inconveniently, in the middle of the day).

Still, one way or another, I will watch my Bob Ross/Joy of Painting relaxation session!

...Even if I have to watch this one episode every time!

(Ed. Note: Here's a bonus clip, for the hell of it!)

More Pictures! More! Mwahahaha!

Okay, I've been in a picture-posting mood lately, so I'm going to keep posting some! Why? I dunno, I've been in a visual mood lately. Maybe it's because I've visited two art museums in the past week. Or maybe it's because I've finally broken down and purchased a new digital camera. It's a Norcent DCS-1050, which was only 85 bucks and got decent (enough) reviews. It's not that my current camera is bad, per se, but it certainly has its limitations, namely the fact that is uses a CompactFlash card and is really bulky...restrictingly so, in fact, for someone who doesn't carry a purse. I give it credit for working well for many years (having served my sister before me), but I figured I should experiment with something new; see how that works. I should be receiving this new camera fairly soon (in fact, it's already a few days late). Anyhoo, in the meantime, here are some other shots that were taken when I was showing off my crow shirts.

Look at my face! Look at it! There's murder in them eyes! Or...something! (Just a quick aside, I've been told by several people that I have big/wide eyes. I'll let you be the judge.) I found this picture so hi-larious that I'm actually using a close-up as my desktop picture.


I find the vertical nature of this one quite charming and perhaps even a little artistic. I just wish that I could have shown off more of my shorts (which are brand new some of the ones I took from the big piles of clothes on move-out day).


And this is me making a really cheesy face (there are some that are even cheesier; so cheesy, in fact, that they shouldn't be shown!). Almost like a sendoff to my old camera. "It's been good, kid. We'll always have Comic-Con."

Now, some other pictures! Not of me!

First, you know how I said that my addiction du jour is the game Mass Effect? Well, I thought I'd show off my character. In the game, you can choose your character (Commander Shepard)'s first name (I chose Solomon, since I obviously think it's a cool name), personal history (I made it so he grew up on a colony that was attacked by alien slave traders; everyone he knew and loved was slaughtered), and military history (he was on a mission when his squad was attacked by horrible aliens. All of his friends and allies were slaughtered. [Wow, tough life]). You can also choose what their face looks like.

I decided to make the character look like a more badass version of me, with a shorter goatee (I would have made it longer if possible) and a scar (hell yeah!). This is a result:
Ironically, despite the ever-angry look on his face, my character is actually considered a moral and military paragon. So that's good. When I do my second play, through, I'll be a woman and follow the path of evil. Since, as we all know, women are proven evil.

Finally, sometimes RAs will put on stress-relief programs where people are encouraged to "act like 5-year-olds". At these programs, they almost always have coloring books. Now, I take a decidedly...different approach to these, as you can see in the following:


G'night, folks!

Quick Thoughts on Covers

You know, I was just thinking back to my book.

Namely, I wonder what it would have looked like had I access to a fully-fledged Photoshop program, as opposed to the absolutely primitive Adobe PhotoDeluxe 98 or whatever we had at the time.

One thing I know for sure would have changed would have been the font. The font that's used on my book's cover isn't what I wanted, or what I asked to be used. I guess when typesetting the thing, they weren't able to download the font I asked for, and so they stuck me with some not-exactly-Times-New-Roman font. Granted, it was italicized, but it was still much more plain than the font I had asked them to use (and I don't remember what that font was, so don't ask).

I also think that I might have messed with the picture a bit. If I were to remake it now, I think I would take the picture and make it starker yet more minimalist. It would be abstract, as opposed to showing you exactly what it was showing you; it would make you think.

'Course, I really have no idea if I this is because I have access to greater photo-editing software or because I've changed my own style in the...God, three to four years since I've worked to get the book published. I know I've matured, perhaps gotten a little darker and grittier (or, at other times, more wacky and light-hearted), so perhaps I'm trying to superimpose my current personality onto my older (er, younger) one.

Anyway, to give you an idea of what I mean, I decided to give the cover a little push through Photoshop. Here's how the cover looks to the purchasing public:

And here's what the cover would look like if I had published the book today:

Is it better? Well, I can't really give an unbiased answer. All I know is that I would be more likely to pick up the latter cover at a bookstore...much more likely. Who knows, maybe in another 5 years, I'll be totally turned around on the subject, or maybe I'll think there should be yet another version.

But anyway, it was just a passing thought...

Mini-Blogs, Set Eight

And mini-blogs make a return after more than five months! While I know that nowadays I'm usually writing mini-blogs as their own posts, there's a few things I wanted to address with a good ol' one-two punch. So, here we go!

I AM SERIOUS
Have you always wanted an emoticon to perfectly capture former New York governor Eliot Spitzer. Well, I think I have something that works quite well.

:-[

Specifically with the bracket.

(Don't get it? Look at these reference photos, and it may become a bit more obvious.)

(Also, 50 dozen respect points to anyone who gets the reference in the title.)


What's In a Name?
So, this semester, after some soul searching (and scam searching), I decided to become a member of the Golden Key International Honour Society. As I just mentioned, I was concerned about it being a scam similar to Who's Who Among What-Have-You. However, from all I've seen, it's fully legit, and the Berkeley chapter apparently prides itself on being particularly active. Seeing as I receive an email from them almost every day, I won't debate them.

Anyway, today was the official induction ceremony. For the most part, it was relatively ho-hum, as the co-presidents had to battle with both a feedback-blaring sound system and their own lack of enthusiasm. However, one of the benefits of going is that you received a certificate (because certificates mean something!).

So, here's mine.This all seems rather uninteresting, until you consider the fact that my name is Andrew David Schnorr. Then it becomes somewhat amusing, for one of three reasons:
1. Whoever printed these out has no clue what they're doing and make whole-word typos.
2. Whoever printed these know that in my family, the firstborn son's middle name is the father's first name, had the father been the firstborn son in his family. However, he didn't realize that my Uncle Joe was not only not the firstborn son in his family, but is also not my father (as evidenced by the fact that I call him Uncle Joe).
3. There is another Andrew Schnorr out there with the middle name Joseph who received my certificate by mistake. If this be the case, I must hunt this Andrew Schnorr down and eliminate him, Highlander-fashion.


Yet Another Thing for Guests to Look At
So, about a week ago, I put the 45th picture/poster/print on my wall (yes, that is a lot). This is one I've been looking at for a while, and it's one I've always liked. It's actually a travel advertisement from the 1930s or 40s. It features what I think is one of the coolest lithographs ever. Here, take a look.You'll note that it's right next to my door. So basically, every time I go to leave, I can't help but think of something I'd rather be doing. :P


A Little Bird Told Me...
5 years ago, you ask me what I think about crows, I'd probably tell you I hate them, or at least that they "worry" me.

Nowadays? Nowadays, I have half a dozen t-shirts with crows on them. (Mostly from this company called "Stranded" which I think makes great shirts.) And I no longer harbor any sort of resentment towards them; rather, I hold a sort of fascination. What's changed? Here's a few possibilities:
1. I've become a Native American shaman who uses crows to predict weather patterns.
2. I've become enamored with Brandon Lee movies.
3. I've become a goth (a popular theory with friends and family for some reason).

I think the truth is a little simpler. I believe I've become more "in-tune" with animals in general over the past several years (not in a hippie way; more of a Francis of Assisi way). Nowadays, I find crows to be just another fascinating species of bird.

That, and they look really cool on shirts.

Fan Art Friday (Tuesday Edition!)

So, I often have a lot of ideas, for stories and such.

Very vivid ideas.

If you could hook some sort of screen that can see into the mind, then you'd be able to see everything I think up, even down to the most subtle cinematography.

Unfortunately, such an item does not exist. As such, I am forced to describe all my plotlines (and, as the focus of this will soon show, characters) either in words, or in picture. And since a good number of my stories have been commented on for being well-suited for graphic novels or anime, drawing does seem like it would be a good way to go.

Unfortunately, I often have a tricky time drawing my own people. I'm in no way a bad artist - I would say I'm about average - but I often fall into some bad habits. Possibly my most common habit, aside from giving every character a full-on six pack, is having them posed with both arms raised for some reason. I don't know, I guess it's just easier, but whatever.

Well, one of my high school friends & off-and-on commenter Alex is a bit more trained in the ways of the pencil than I am. He's also an easy person to share my ideas with. As such, I often get, via internet or via snail-mail, samples of artwork from him related to characters I've created.

Since this may be the closest I'll have to fan art, I thought I'd showcase some for you (with some explanations, of course).

So this first one is actually from a series of pictures I was sent, but this is the one I'll focus on. The two characters shown are The Future and Carlitos del Fuego del Sol (Little Carlos of the Sun's Fire). Now, The Future isn't so much an actual honest-to-goodness character, as he was originally envisioned as a Halloween costume. Click here to see the costume. However, I can see him fitting nicely into any number of my stories as the "silent hunter" type.

Carlitos del Fuego del Sol actually is a character. He was envisioned as the primary antagonist for a series of short stories entitled "The University of Satherton" which is basically a very twisted version of Berkeley. Calitos, who was named after (but in no way similar to) my old RA friend Carlos, used to be an RA, until he was fired after shooting a resident unprovoked (the resident was sleeping). He is now an assassin, and is hired by Satherton's rival school to kill the football coaches son before the big rival match (it's to psych out the coach). He ends up fighting the main protagonist, known only as the RA (a character based on what I wish we could do). Carlitos carries four revolvers, as well as a knife, "in case there are twenty-five people to kill."
Carlitos is spot on. This version of The Future looks a little dumpy, but that could simply be because I was essentially the model for it. However, Alex recently (like, last week) sent me a new, stylized version of The Future (which has a very Sin City-like feel to it), which I thought was pretty awesome). So awesome, in fact, that I did a little tinkering, and this is now my desktop wallpaper.
Now, if I were to make an educated guess, I would say that the character that Alex likes best is Cornelius Webster. And I wouldn't blame him. Cornelius Webster is one of my favorite characters. He comes from a series (that is, a comic or anime series) I call Menagerie. If you want an overview, you can read it here. However, Webster would work fine on his own. Here's his backstory:

Webster was "born" in 801 AD. I put that in quotation marks because he wasn't technically born. He was created. You see, Webster was a golem created by a Jewish mystic to serve Charlemagne the Great, ruler of the Holy Roman Empire. (At the time, he had no name, and was known as simply "Golem".) He called himself the Hand of God, and was able to back it up. He could see into a person's soul to see all their sins. He also has the ability to burn a person from the inside out with what he calls a "holy fire" (he basically grabs their heart and they burst into flame). Also, because he's not human, he's not easily killed. He doesn't even bleed. However, he has a serious complex. He basically despises every human, because he sees them all to be sinners. He carries a gladius with him, and his philosophy is "one cut for every sin." In essence, you could call him the epitome of a religious fanatic.

Anyway, he served Charlemagne for some time in battling the heathens of Europe. Although he didn't respect the Holy Roman Emperor, he thought that the crusade may have had some positive effect. He was invincible on the field, but didn't get along with his fellow soldiers (on account of despising them) save for one, named Remy. Remy was a young soldier, and the only person to reach out to Webster. Webster saw Remy as the sole good person on Earth, though Remy would try to convince him that most people are good, but just made mistakes.

One night, after a fierce victory, there was a large, drunken orgy in the barracks. During this period, some overly drunk soldiers beat Remy, raped him, and threw him from a high loft, killing him. When Webster saw this, he took out his gladius, and slaughtered the whole battalion of soldiers, as well as anyone else who got in his way.

When Charlemagne found out, he exiled Webster. This, of course, angered the golem. He left, but not before passing by the man carrying Charlemagne's goblet. A week later, Charlemagne was found dead.

Anyhoo, for the next millennium or so, the golem went around, fighting demons and the like, until he was contacted by the Vatican (who he had a turbulent relationship with). In the end, he agreed to stay hidden in Rome unless he was needed (there's more to it than that, but I'm trying to sum this up as quickly as possible).

I'm not sure, but I may have actually specifically asked Alex to draw Webster for me. Basically, the main color here is white. Webster wears a white coat, a white hat, and he's an albino to boot. I gave some more details, and these are some of the preliminary sketches that came about.
In the end, though, this was the final picture. He looks a little bit older than I envision him in my mind, but this is still the best representation of the character I have on paper (or computer) at the moment.
While the actual drawing may not be my forte, I can do a thing or two on Photoshop, and so I turned this drawing into...I dunno, a poster. Anyway, this is what it would be like if you saw Cornelius Webster on a dark night, complete with an original Cornelius Webster line!
And, in his most recent submission, Alex created this amalgamation of many different characters. Starting from the left, there's Thenosthenes, a near-immortal Spartan who lives through the centuries as a mercenary; Carlitos del Fuego del Sol, Cornelius Webster, the Neo Deus (who I'll speak of in more depth at another time), The Future, and The Lobotomist's Dream peripheral character Victor Von Killsport.Sensational!