Picking Up the Pieces...

True story:

I was recently contacted by a fellow Haas student. I never really met the guy, but I have passed by him a few times. (He probably only knew my name through looking in the student directory.) Anyway, his message was very direct:

"i see you around haas. would you happen to be a pua?"

Now, don't be ashamed if you don't know what a PUA is. I didn't, and I was being asked if I was one (that might give you an idea as to the answer). However, I looked it up, and apparently it stands for "Pickup Artist," which, for those of you too lazy to click the link, is "a term used to describe a man who is skilled in meeting, attracting, and seducing women."

Think about that for a second.

There's plenty of guys at Haas that this guy could have contacted. And, unless he contacted them all (a possibility, but for some reason I doubt it), I was singled out as one of those most likely to be a man skilled in the art of seduction.

I'll be honest, I was flattered.

So, I responded and had to deny the suggestion. However, I didn't want to say something along the lines of "I haven't touched a woman's hand in three years!" (not true; I've shaken many female hands), so I just responded as such:

Haha. No, not in any official capacity. Why, do you need some help?

And note that "in any official capacity" is code for "at all."

As it turned out, the guy was looking for people to join his "sarge group." Again, I had to look that up, but apparently, it's a group that's, when it comes down to it, is about picking up chicks.

After doing a little research, I figured that he may have pegged me for a PUA because of my relatively eccentric dress style. Thing is, there's some famous guy on VH1 named "Mystery" who dresses extremely eccentrically, but I guess it works for him. I prefer to think it's more because of my charisma and non-drunken swagger, but whatever.

In the end, I had to deny the guy's offer (lest the terrible truth be revealed), but thanked him. And I really did mean it. I felt what I assume a middle-aged woman feels when she's asked for her ID. Yes, he was mistaken, but it's a mistake in my ego's favor.