Tuesday, December 18, 2007

THE_BOLSHEVIK in "The Prank War!"

THE_BOLSHEVIK walks up to Kris. He points to Kris' shirt.
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Hey Kris, what's that on your shirt?"
Kris: (Looking down) "Huh? Where?"
THE_BOLSHEVIK moves his finger up, hitting Kris' nose.
Kris: "Ow."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: (Schoolgirl giggle) "Heeheehee. You've just been prank'd!"
THE_BOLSHEVIK walks off. Kris stares at THE_BOLSHEVIK with an expressionless face.

...

Kris is seen typing at a computer. His face is expressionless.

...

SEVERAL WEEKS LATER

Kris: "Hey, THE_BOLSHEVIK."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Hey, Kris! What's up?"
Kris: "I have a surprise for you. I managed to get you a blind date with an attractive female."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: (Joyous) "Wow, Kris, that's...that's uncharacteristically nice of you."
Kris: "Yeah, well, what can I say? Her name's Natalie. The date's set for tomorrow at seven. Here's her address."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Wow, Kris...thank you."
THE_BOLSHEVIK walks off. Kris' face is expressionless.

...

THE NEXT DAY
THE_BOLSHEVIK rings a doorbell. Natalie answers.
Natalie: "Hi!"
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Hi, um...Natalie?"
Natalie: "Yeah, and you're THE_BOLSHEVIK?"
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Yes."
Natalie: "Great. I love your screen name, by the way."
THE_BOLSHEVIK: (Confused) "Oh, um...thank you?"
Natalie: "Come on in. Did you bring any beer with you?"
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "I, uh, no, I didn't."
Natalie: "That's okay. I have some in my room. Why don't you wait in the kitchen while I bring it down."
Natalie runs upstairs.
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Actually, I don't drink you're already out of earshot. Ohhhhh kay."
THE_BOLSHEVIK walks into the kitchen.
THE_BOLSHEVIK: "Hmm, not a bad place."
Someone comes in from the doorway.
Chris Hansen: "Why don't you have a seat right over there?"

THEND.

3 comments:

Andrew Schnorr said...

Great Prank or the Greatest Prank?

Christopher said...

Andrew, that was probably the greatest THE_BOLSHEVIK story ever. Absolutely perfect.

Greatest prank (and I'm sure Colbert wouldn't mind you stealing his great ... or greatest ... joke, either.)

-Comrade Chavez

dad said...

Love the surprise ending!