Damn you, mother nature!
You and your clouds have ruined America!
Showing posts with label Weather. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Weather. Show all posts
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Raindrops Keep *Not* Fallin' on My Head...
There's something I love about southern California.
In Berkeley, if someone says there is going to be rain, there is going to be rain. You bring an umbrella with you and hope for the best.
In southern California, a lonely man could cry and it'd be considered precipitation.
Right now, we're in "Storm Watch" mode in LA. This means that every news story is about the weather, every Breaking Report is about "more storms on the way!" Everywhere I turn, there is somebody talking about "the storms." So why have I not put heavy investment into the umbrella market.
Well, if you've ever lived in SoCal, you know that these storm watches mean absolutely nothing. As my friend, the Comrade Chavez says, "You could sneeze in LA and they'd call it a storm."
I have two potential explanations for this. First, it could be that people from SoCal are made of so much sugar that we get diabetes from just looking at each other. Hence, we feel that even the lightest rain will cause a melting of wicked witch-like proportions.
The other explanation is that SoCal people are desperate for a storm. It makes us feel like we're in the big leagues. Think about it. The southeast have their hurricanes, the midwest have their tornadoes. What natural disasters do we have? Earthquakes? That's pretty good, if you enjoy maddening irregularity. No, we need something, anything to make us feel afraid on an annual basis. And "Storm Watch" does exactly this. It makes us feel like something big is coming. That we need to hunker down and prepare ourselves. It happens nearly every year, and every year, I say it's all just hype.
And every year, I am proven correct. The whole thing is just smoke and mirrors to use when there's no celebrity scandals for the news stations to report on. Yes, there's some rain, but so far, I have not even bothered to bring an umbrella. It's just that pathetic. The only time my windshield wipers were on full-bore was when I was driving at freeway speed down The 110.
There was an email I remember getting a few years ago about the after effects of one of these storms. It builds up the damage and horror of the storm, as so many of the news stations do, and then it's photographic punchline detailing the damage is a picture of a somewhat-wet patio with a single, knocked-over deck chair. Sad as it is, it doesn't seem like things are going to change anytime soon.
NOTE: If I'm found drowned in torrential rains in the upcoming week, I will allow the Weather Channel to say "I told you so."
In Berkeley, if someone says there is going to be rain, there is going to be rain. You bring an umbrella with you and hope for the best.
In southern California, a lonely man could cry and it'd be considered precipitation.
Right now, we're in "Storm Watch" mode in LA. This means that every news story is about the weather, every Breaking Report is about "more storms on the way!" Everywhere I turn, there is somebody talking about "the storms." So why have I not put heavy investment into the umbrella market.
Well, if you've ever lived in SoCal, you know that these storm watches mean absolutely nothing. As my friend, the Comrade Chavez says, "You could sneeze in LA and they'd call it a storm."
I have two potential explanations for this. First, it could be that people from SoCal are made of so much sugar that we get diabetes from just looking at each other. Hence, we feel that even the lightest rain will cause a melting of wicked witch-like proportions.
The other explanation is that SoCal people are desperate for a storm. It makes us feel like we're in the big leagues. Think about it. The southeast have their hurricanes, the midwest have their tornadoes. What natural disasters do we have? Earthquakes? That's pretty good, if you enjoy maddening irregularity. No, we need something, anything to make us feel afraid on an annual basis. And "Storm Watch" does exactly this. It makes us feel like something big is coming. That we need to hunker down and prepare ourselves. It happens nearly every year, and every year, I say it's all just hype.
And every year, I am proven correct. The whole thing is just smoke and mirrors to use when there's no celebrity scandals for the news stations to report on. Yes, there's some rain, but so far, I have not even bothered to bring an umbrella. It's just that pathetic. The only time my windshield wipers were on full-bore was when I was driving at freeway speed down The 110.
There was an email I remember getting a few years ago about the after effects of one of these storms. It builds up the damage and horror of the storm, as so many of the news stations do, and then it's photographic punchline detailing the damage is a picture of a somewhat-wet patio with a single, knocked-over deck chair. Sad as it is, it doesn't seem like things are going to change anytime soon.
NOTE: If I'm found drowned in torrential rains in the upcoming week, I will allow the Weather Channel to say "I told you so."
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
I Want to Know - Have You Ever Seen the Rain?
I'm glad I decided to wear pants instead of shorts today.
When I left my room for class, it was a gray and cloudy day. Not unusual for Berkeley. The ground, though, was moist, something that hasn't happened in a while. I bent down and put my palm flat on the ground. In my best Native American shaman voice, I said to myself, "The rains, they have passed."
I need to work on my shaman skills.
Luckily, I was smart enough to bring my jacket with me. I wasn't expecting any rain, but I feared it would get a bit nippy. To be honest, the cool winds were relieving, as both my room and Wheeler Auditorium's lobby were hot, stuffy, and suffocating. With every student entering the building there came a burst which made me think, "Oh, that's what it's like to be able to breathe."
By the end of my Economics lecture, around 11am, there was an ever-so-light sprinkle, and yet still people held out their umbrellas. "Fools!" I said (to myself), "I am from Southern California, and yet even I do not need an umbrella. Hahahaha!"
As I got out of each class, I noticed that the rain was coming down harder and harder. By the time I was free of my IDS 110 lecture (5pm), it was a pretty healthy shower. Now what am I to do? Well, as it turns out, I was prepared. I am always prepared. You see, I have two umbrellas. One is a big, fancy one, which I bring when I know that a downpour is imminent. The second is a small one that I keep in my backpack for a surprise meteorological attack. And this was definitely a surprise.
And yet, I didn't use my umbrella. Why not? Well, sometimes I simply enjoy getting soaked. As corny as it sounds, it's a liberating experience. I mean, once you're soaked, what more can happen to you? You're no longer bound to the umbrella like all those dry fools. Second, I was lazy and didn't want to hold the thing. Unlike my big, fancy umbrella, the little sucker is uncomfortable to hold.
Plus, I heard chicks dig guys soaked by the rain.
In any event, on my way back to CKC, I stopped by Ramona's to pick up a delicious panini and a bag of Kettle Chips. I put the two in a paper bag and continued on my way. Along the way, I became a walking sponge. Fortunately, my homely yet useful jacket was fairly waterproof. Unfortunately, I didn't button it up, so my soft underbelly was not spared the water's wrath. But it wasn't my body that I was worried about. It was my sandwich. All it had was a brown paper bag and a layer of waxed paper protecting it, and the bag was starting to rip.
Well, I made it to CKC well enough, and I was about 150 feet away from my building, when the following words came out of my mouth: "Boy, I hope this sandwich doesn't get wet...whoops!"
At that moment, the paper bag completely split, dropping the sandwich into the only puddle I could see around me. It was submerged for the brief second before I scooped it back up. The waxed paper wrap was covered in dirt and questionable water (the puddle was right by a parking area). I was...vexed.
Personally, I found it very suspicious that I could only find one small puddle in the vicinity, and it just so happened to be exactly where my sandwich fell into. I'm not without my postulations. My best working theory is that the ground directly beneath the puddle was much, much denser than the surrounding areas. This would create a stronger gravitational field, attracting other objects (such as my sandwich) to the puddle. To help illustrate this idea, I've included the following diagram:
As it turns out, waxed paper is not perfectly waterproof protection for sandwiches, but it's not half-bad, either. The bread of my sandwich wasn't even soggy, just a bit cold and floppy. Still a damn good sandwich. I ate it happily enough and went on with my day.
Y'know, I wonder if a Native American shaman could make a good, waterproof panini...
When I left my room for class, it was a gray and cloudy day. Not unusual for Berkeley. The ground, though, was moist, something that hasn't happened in a while. I bent down and put my palm flat on the ground. In my best Native American shaman voice, I said to myself, "The rains, they have passed."
I need to work on my shaman skills.
Luckily, I was smart enough to bring my jacket with me. I wasn't expecting any rain, but I feared it would get a bit nippy. To be honest, the cool winds were relieving, as both my room and Wheeler Auditorium's lobby were hot, stuffy, and suffocating. With every student entering the building there came a burst which made me think, "Oh, that's what it's like to be able to breathe."
By the end of my Economics lecture, around 11am, there was an ever-so-light sprinkle, and yet still people held out their umbrellas. "Fools!" I said (to myself), "I am from Southern California, and yet even I do not need an umbrella. Hahahaha!"
As I got out of each class, I noticed that the rain was coming down harder and harder. By the time I was free of my IDS 110 lecture (5pm), it was a pretty healthy shower. Now what am I to do? Well, as it turns out, I was prepared. I am always prepared. You see, I have two umbrellas. One is a big, fancy one, which I bring when I know that a downpour is imminent. The second is a small one that I keep in my backpack for a surprise meteorological attack. And this was definitely a surprise.
And yet, I didn't use my umbrella. Why not? Well, sometimes I simply enjoy getting soaked. As corny as it sounds, it's a liberating experience. I mean, once you're soaked, what more can happen to you? You're no longer bound to the umbrella like all those dry fools. Second, I was lazy and didn't want to hold the thing. Unlike my big, fancy umbrella, the little sucker is uncomfortable to hold.
Plus, I heard chicks dig guys soaked by the rain.
In any event, on my way back to CKC, I stopped by Ramona's to pick up a delicious panini and a bag of Kettle Chips. I put the two in a paper bag and continued on my way. Along the way, I became a walking sponge. Fortunately, my homely yet useful jacket was fairly waterproof. Unfortunately, I didn't button it up, so my soft underbelly was not spared the water's wrath. But it wasn't my body that I was worried about. It was my sandwich. All it had was a brown paper bag and a layer of waxed paper protecting it, and the bag was starting to rip.
Well, I made it to CKC well enough, and I was about 150 feet away from my building, when the following words came out of my mouth: "Boy, I hope this sandwich doesn't get wet...whoops!"
At that moment, the paper bag completely split, dropping the sandwich into the only puddle I could see around me. It was submerged for the brief second before I scooped it back up. The waxed paper wrap was covered in dirt and questionable water (the puddle was right by a parking area). I was...vexed.
Personally, I found it very suspicious that I could only find one small puddle in the vicinity, and it just so happened to be exactly where my sandwich fell into. I'm not without my postulations. My best working theory is that the ground directly beneath the puddle was much, much denser than the surrounding areas. This would create a stronger gravitational field, attracting other objects (such as my sandwich) to the puddle. To help illustrate this idea, I've included the following diagram:
As it turns out, waxed paper is not perfectly waterproof protection for sandwiches, but it's not half-bad, either. The bread of my sandwich wasn't even soggy, just a bit cold and floppy. Still a damn good sandwich. I ate it happily enough and went on with my day.
Y'know, I wonder if a Native American shaman could make a good, waterproof panini...
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