Monday, January 29, 2007

The Rotten Apple, Part I

Congratulations, Steve Jobs, you now have another $300+ of my money.

I like to think of myself as a fairly creative person. I write, I do some graphic design, I design a few t-shirts here and there, and when I get the free time, I even do some flash animation when I have the patience.

"Well, Andrew, based on your creative endeavors, I'd say you're a Macintosh lover."

Wrong, Victor von Killsport! I hate Apple! I loathe Apple with a seething passion. Its policies. Its promotions. Its president. I despise it all. I would post a certain YouTube video, but that would somewhat negate the purpose of a writing class. But what are the roots of my feelings? I'll just give the summarized version:

Policies: Apple has one reason it's alive - iPods, which is based heavily off their iTunes program. iTunes in and of itself is a fine program; easy to navigate and organize. However, God help you if you actually want to do anything with those music files. One activity I enjoy is sound editing via Adobe Audition. Sometimes I'll just do some voicework, but sometimes I want to work on music (that is, make remixes and altered versions). However, if I were to try to edit one of my 5,300 songs on iTunes, I couldn't. Why not? Because iTunes songs are m4a files, an audio format which works only on iTunes, and nowhere else.

Just as bad are Quicktime videos. I can play a video pretty easily, sure, but if I want to save a video, that's another ballgame entirely. In that case, I have to pony up $30 to buy Quicktime Pro. At least when Microsoft says something is free, there's actually a chance it is free. And can be used in a program other than their own media player.

Promotions: I consider myself a cultured person. That said, I dislike most kinds of culture. Pop-culture, counter-culture, underground-culture. It all seems so tacky to me. Funnily enough, Apple comprises many of these things. This is partially due to the fact that counter-culture is the new pop-culture, where trendy pseudo-intellectuals pull out a iBook to look up Robert Pinsky while sipping their Starbucks latte (for the record, though, I love Starbucks Green Tea Frappuccino...yum!). It's like these people are trying to say, "Look at me! I'm cool because everything I buy has rounded corners!"

And the Mac v. PC commercials. Egh. What a load of half-truths and whole lies. "Yes, I have a PC. That means I am incapable of doing anything related to enjoyment, except" Well, if I'm not mistaken (and I'm not), the PC can do everything a Mac can do and more, they can usually do them faster, and (in my experience) with less hassle. Of course, the TV ads make you think that PCs are used by a bunch of Neanderthal businessmen.

But I guess it's the impact that counts, isn't it? I was talking to my mom about the commercials, and she said, "Well, it doesn't matter to people how accurate they are, so long as they're entertaining."

(On a quick side note, I've made an observation, though I fear trying to make an assesment of it: females tend to see Apple more favorable than males. Whenever I tell a guy, "I'd never buy a Mac," he'll shake his head or something, but if I tell a woman the same thing, she'll jump all over me. "Why don't you like them? You should like them! They're cute and creative, just like you! Hey, where are you going? Don't walk away like that!")

President: Steve Jobs. He calls his own products "bitchin." He says that the ideal iPod customer is "one who buys a new iPod every year." Every time I read about him, he seems like a prick. I don't like him.

So why is he getting my money?

Well, I'll expand on that tomorrow.


Unknown said...

who's steve jobs?

you already used Victor Von Killsport! think up some more names. you know, so that people think you know alot of more people than you actually do. it's fun!

i never understood what "pony up" meant. did they use ponies like currency? i guess that makes sense.

(not that you were planning on it, but there's no need to answer that last question. i think i got the answer.)

come to think of it, what culture do you identify with and relate to?

oh nevermind. i know who steve jobs is. well not personally, i know OF steve jobs.

they made fun of him on MAD TV jan. 20th.

ASHLEY said...

I love apple, and exactly for all the same reasons that you hate it. I most particularly love Steve Jobs and his fantastic self-obsession.

Oscar Wilde once said, "We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely." And really, all the wonderful things apple has brought into this world are quite useless.