Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Announcement: My New Favorite Fruit

I would just like to announce that I have a brand new all-time favorite fruit.

In the past, my reputed "favorite fruits" have included such perennial favorites as the Granny Smith apple, the grape, and the strawberry. In fact, I was once quoted as saying:

"A grape is always good; but a good strawberry is blissful."
-Andrew Schnorr

Now, I have nothing against these fruits at the moment; they're still all very good fruit, and I would definitely eat them should the chance arise (and arise it does; I'm eating at least two fruit with every meal). However, my palate has grown more sophisticated. I've learned that happy taste buds don't come from aromatic soils and years of tender-loving care.

No, they come from genetic engineering!

I present the pluot!

(Contrary to what the tabloids want you to believe, that is not my thumb.)

Yessir, this bespeckled baby is the hottest thing in my life since I accidentally sat on the stove. If you can't tell by the portmanteau name, it's the unholy bastard child of the plum and the apricot. More specifically, it's 3/4 plum and 1/4 apricot. Yet, despite having only fractional amounts of each, it's eight times better than both! Delicious, I say! Delicious!

According to Wikipedia:
The fruit's exterior fairly closely resembles a plum's. Pluots are noted for their sweetness (due to a very high sugar content) and for their intense flavor. They are also very, very juicy. Pluots are also rich in vitamin A.
It's true, they are juicy, and that juice likes to fly. Consider this conversation I had with one of my residents over dinner.

Resident: "Andrew, have you ever taken Math 16B?"
Me: *Munch*
Resident: "Argh! My eye!"

What's best about the pluot, though, is that they're just so damn cute! Look at it! I just want to pinch its cheeks (thought doing so would probably get juice in my eye). You know what they're calling these mottled little guys? Dinosaur eggs! That is pure awesome!

So here's to you, pluot! You've risen to the ranks of my all-time favorite fruit, a distinction that very few plants have. I shall celebrate this momentous occasion by consuming you and your kin. Huzzah!

1 comment:

Christopher said...

The one thing commies and damned monarchists can agree on:

Pluots are awesome!

"All hail the pluot!"

-Comrade Chavez